“I am glad that Bill Cosby got jail time,” I state, seated across from my husband at lunch. “I hope justice doesn’t stop there.”
My husband shifts uncomfortably in his chair. He thought that Cosby should have house arrest. He doesn’t say it now – he’s too sensitive for that – but he has said it before, when I wasn’t feeling so volatile.
I’ve just been to see my psychologist, and the topic of conversation has been the rage that I have been feeling over this recent fiasco in the States.
“Many women are feeling it,” she says. “It felt like we came so far, and now we’re pulled back under.”
“I don’t know how we change it,” I carry on as Ric focuses on his food. “As long we live in a patriarchal society, seems women are devalued.”
“Patriarchal? How is our society patriarchal? Women hold positions of power too.”
I understand then that he is taking this personally.
“Honey, this is not about women vs men. This is about a culture that oppresses and has done for centuries. The ‘old boys club’ mentality that overlooks crimes against humanity in favour of power. Religious teachings that denigrate and incite hate – not just towards women. Hell, there are women on the Senate who are turning their backs against the abuse and voting to support the likes of Kavanaugh.”
I am too emotional to make a clear argument right now, and he knows it, so we let it drop.
“Maybe it’s better if we just don’t watch the news for a bit.”
Even that suggestion makes me mad, although I know he’s probably right. I have no control over what is happening.
“It’s the powerlessness that fans the rage,” my therapist had said. “There is healthy rage – that which promotes change – and then there is destructive rage. Protect yourself in these times.”
So much of what is tolerated in society in based on unwritten laws. On a crowded sidewalk, we move to the right. In a bottleneck, cars from incoming lanes alternate.
When someone falls, we stop to make sure they are alright. We are conditioned to be polite, so; when the situation crosses into lines that make us uncomfortable, we walk away.
I think it’s time to raise the bar. We live in an age of information and the potential for enlightenment is riper than it has ever been. Let’s set a higher standard for ourselves, people.
I am inspired today by the writings of Scarlet Virago, whose blog post, Lava, addresses the rage I have been feeling. Please give her a read and a like.
We have a lot to talk about. Love to hear your thoughts.
(I’ve added my poem: Meaningful Toil to this post as I think it fits.)