Avoidance Therapy

Chronic Illnes, Health, ME/CFS, writing, , , , 20 Comments

I just want to sleep.

Situational, my therapist calls this type of depression.

Saw my family doctor this week, and she confirmed that the skin condition could be cancer. At best, it is a rare condition that will need specialist care. It is both itchy and painful, but there can be no treatment until the biopsy gives us a diagnosis. So for now, I put up with it.

The doctor also said that my blood work indicated something going on above and beyond the M.E. She sent me with an accompanying report to emergency, and for a moment, I was hopeful that I’d get some answers, but the blood tests performed at the hospital came back as normal.

I feel like a hamster on a wheel. Four years I went through this before being diagnosed with M.E. – traipsed from one specialist to another, all with no answers.

“You’re an enigma,” the emergency doc said. I’ve heard that before.

She did say she’d order more tests on an outpatient basis, so I’m waiting again.

Wake me up when someone knows something.

(Linking up to my weekly challenge: in-between.)

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Permission to write, paint, and imagine are the gifts I gave myself when chronic illness hit - a fair exchange: being for doing. Relevance is an attitude. Humour essential.

20 thoughts on “Avoidance Therapy”

  1. I even hate going to the doctor because of all the palava – so I have no idea how you’re coping with real issues, I’m normally patient but not with medicine …

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  2. Argh…doctors and medical testing…I hope that the testing that comes back normal brings you a sense of relief and pray that they are able to bring you the rest of the results in a timely manner. Rest as you need to…nothing wrong with that. Wishing you sunbeams that warm you through your bedroom window.

    ( I don’t know what your weather is like there, but the long winter and now the rainy spring with clouds every day don’t help with the desire to not sleep so much.)

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  3. The waiting game is enough to keep you awake. They do take their leisurely time to get back to us.
    Thinking of you.

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  4. Oh, V.J., I’m praying for you. I know this not knowing has to be difficult and discouraging. I also know that you’re a strong woman and that you’ll get through this just as you’ve gotten through so many other things. Hang in there, sweet friend. Sending hugs.

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  6. Sleep eludes me when I am worried like that, even more than usual. And going to doctors who say things like “never saw that before” – so frustrating and frankly…annoying. The enigma comment is more creative I will admit. Situational depression…no wonder! I do hope you can get some sleep eventually.

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  7. I consider sleep an indulgence, rather than avoidance. I CHOOSE to sleep a LOT. My sense is that each of us has commonality and yet significant uniqueness in what benefits the body. Gotta follow instincts!! And surely sleeping is healthier than sitting around consciously itching … even if scratching while snoring.
    Sending vibes of patience (and tolerance) while you wait for test results and then cope with recommendations. And meanwhile, sweet dreams …

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