Sometimes Risk Is Called For

Jane Juska has been on my mind all week. At sixty-six, the divorced, mother of one, decided it was time to reclaim her sexuality, so she posted an ad in The New York Review of Books:

Before I turn 67 – next March – I would like to have a lot of sex with a man I like. If you want to talk first, Trollope works for me.

Jane Juska
A Round-Heeled Woman

Did I mention that she had poured all her passion into teaching English and raising her child, leading a celibate life for many years? Anyway, what follows her advertisement makes for an interesting read, and explains the title of her memoir: A Round-Heeled Woman.

I’ve been thinking about her, as our focus this week is ‘reclaim’. It occurs to me that there is so much that we set aside in the name of education, career, parenthood, and illness. Some things are reclaimable and some are not, and I wonder how objective we can be in discerning which is which.

Certainly, since illness, I have rediscovered my creative side – the ultimate silver lining.

But I have also lost much.

I drive by tennis courts and feel an undeniable ache – oh, how I’d love to get out there again. Or swimming pools, or golf courses…all unreachable now.

Gradually, I’m beginning to read books again (as opposed to listening to audio) and that is a gain.

Mostly, I begrudge the isolation that illness brings. I am forever on the outside. Me, who used to be the life of the party. Oh, how I miss belly laughs, and staying up all night “sorting out the world”. Did you know I spent six years performing in Murder Mysteries, with over twenty character roles? I was a comedienne wanna be.

Juska took a huge risk reclaiming her sexuality, and she gained so much more than she’d ever imagined possible.

It has my wheels turning. What action can I take to reclaim a part of my life? I don’t have answers yet, but you can be certain I won’t let it rest till I do.

***

Here’s what this community has reclaimed this week:

– “essence of my soul”… Reena Saxena
– “life” (sort of) … radhikasreflection
– rest & relaxation … Proscenium
dignity parallax
– “wild”… Sgeoil
– “a new day”… Stuff and what if…
– life story (paraphrased)… one letter UP
– “hope” … AWISEWOMANSJOURNEY

Thank you all for your words of wisdom. See you tomorrow for a new challenge!



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Permission to write, paint, and imagine are the gifts I gave myself when chronic illness hit - a fair exchange: being for doing. Relevance is an attitude. Humour essential.

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