Growing with gratitude for life's challenges
Originally posted on One Woman's Quest:
I was forty before I could finally ask my mother about her constant criticism of me growing up. We were alone together, in the car, driving out of town. I had her undivided attention. “Help me to understand, something,” I prefaced the conversation. “When I was young, you…
“I’ve started to write short stories again – something I haven’t done since I was a kid.” “How’s that going?” “It’s disturbing, actually; the endings are the same even after all these years.” “Like what?” “Me in a straitjacket, completely mad.” “Oh, I see!” As do I – there are never happy endings, just a […]
Read More“You’re abandoning me for the summer? Is that what you’re telling me?” I reel at my mother’s response when I tell her we have parked the motor home at the lake for the summer season. This is the place she always goes to: how it affects her and I feel the talons of guilt closing […]
Read MoreAs an audio book, A Little Life, by Hanya Yanagihara, runs for over 32 hours. I passed by it several times, but lured by the recommendations on Audible.com, finally committed. A Little Life is an admirable undertaking: the author has spared no details in weaving this tale: establishing first the framework of relationships that form […]
Read MoreThe longest my family ever lived in one place was when I was aged four to eleven. We lived in a house, built by my father, with a fortress of cedars on either side of the backyard to “keep out nosy neighbours”. Behind was a farmer’s field and beyond a wooded area. My father had […]
Read MoreMust have been the dimness of the lights, or maybe the thick haze of cigarette smoke that masked the truth of my age, because the doorman didn’t flinch as my sister led me into the crowded bar. Rows of long plywood tables lined either side of the room, each one overflowing with bodies, more men […]
Read MoreI spotted him as soon as I exited the back door of the school. He stood on the field, just off the paved area where students were now scattering after the final bell. He wore a bulky, beige parka, fists shoved into jean pockets, a few locks of dirty blonde hair falling over cold grey eyes; […]
Read More“Could my life history have contributed to this illness?” I asked my therapist one day. We’ve been seeing each other now for the better of three years and it seems the trail of ‘stuff’ is never-ending. “I think it is fair to say that given your childhood, your marital history, and the years you did […]
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This pedestal of responsibility has elevated me, out of reach, out of touch, lumps together children, mate, mother sister… Caregiver extraordinaire, present overcrowded by obligations, am unwell, off topic, fed up, surely… I am other abled, have room for more, non martyr related, hesitant to plan, my purpose for being so intricately tuned to the […]
Read MoreThere is a woman following me around, stabbing me in the chest every time I go near my husband, so I go off on my own. The pain is too much to bear. “Why are you alone?” someone asks me. “It’s just easier that way.” “Why don’t you stab her back?” “She only wounds me, […]
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One Woman's Quest II 