Growing with gratitude for life's challenges
“I’m in trouble!” My sister’s voice was weak but charged with panic. “Help me!” “What have you done?” She’d locked us all out of her apartment that weekend; said she was tired of being sick, tired of people hovering over her. She wanted to be independent. Reluctantly, we gave her space. I’d held my breath […]
Read MoreMaking sense of chaos is difficult for young minds, and yet, often necessary for survival. I could not have recited the list of causes for my family’s particular brand of dysfunction, I just knew from an early age that I needed to be on guard. So I developed what I called ‘body radar’. My parents […]
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“Grandma, you are just like my mom!” We are snuggled in against the cold night air, having a sleep over. “Well, I am your mom’s Mom.” “Yeah,” she says hugging me tighter, “she’s your kid!” At five, Sloane likes to explore connections, turning things over, understanding things from different angles. The next day, she finds […]
Read More“Grandma, do you drive?” “No, Love, not right now.?” “But you can drive, right? Do you have a license…actually, what is a license?” “It’s a little piece of paper that says you’ve passed your driving test.” We’re snuggled into bed for the night, the second of a two-night sleepover. She is five, and I am […]
Read MoreA recent Facebook post suggested that babysitting contributes to prolonged life for grandparents. Given how exhausted I am after spending time with my granddaughters, I find that hard to believe, and yet… there is an undeniable glow that lingers for days every time I am exposed to those precious little souls. “You spend all of […]
Read More“What’s her name?” “I can’t tell you.” “What? Why not? Do I know her?” “No, Mom. If I tell you her name, you’ll ask too many questions that I’m not ready to answer yet.” “Oh.” “A son is sweetness and strength and mystery;” Call it Mother’s intuition, but I could tell there was someone special […]
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FREE FROM CODEPENDENCY As I work longer with clients, it is clear that the parenting style that they were subjected to as a child is extremely important in determining how they see the world. This conditioning is often taken into adulthood and causes dysfunction in relationships and in life generally. This includes anyone who feels […]
Read MoreFather worked six days a week, and with the exception of Saturday, was gone from 7:30 am to 10:30 pm. Sundays were reserved for family day: usually church, visiting, and a formal dinner. He could be fun at times, but typically he was tyrannical – angry and critical – calling us idiots, useless, and expletives […]
Read MorePermanence is not a quality of harmony. Can’t understand why I should ever hope for such a thing, yet here I am disappointed again, disagreement having chipped away at momentary bliss. Must have been born to please; born not with the usual film of childbirth, but with a bluish red hue of guilt – the […]
Read MoreOriginally posted on One Woman's Quest:
At thirty-one, I had to learn to change my approach to life, because the old way wasn’t working. The old way put me at the center of the family (even though I was fifth born), listening to and attempting to resolve every family issue: Do you think your…
One Woman's Quest II 