Dreaming Of Work

I dream that I am teaching again, have two classes:  a grade 9 Math first thing in the morning and a senior History last period.  I am late, so someone else has to start the Math class, and when I do arrive, I am unprepared and uncertain that I can proceed.  Last class is more […]

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Horizontal Champion

Sleeping in was a sin in my father’s eyes.  Even as a teenager, no matter how late we’d been out the night before, if we weren’t up with the sun, Dad would treat us to an icy face wash. The early bird catches the worm! Laziness was not tolerated either.  If we were ever caught […]

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Doctor Love

I’m in love with my doctor. I realized it this afternoon, when having just returned from a quarterly visit; I opened my email to find three messages from his office, all with attachments outlining the new course of treatment he has assigned me. It’s not that I didn’t know the emails were coming – handouts […]

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Asking a Professional Makes Sense

Current setbacks have been self-imposed, it appears. I went to a physiotherapist this week to see if I could get some help for my legs. “Best way I can describe it,” I told him, “is that my legs feel like the plastic ones on those cheap patio chairs.  I can’t trust that they won’t give […]

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Fear or Legacy?

Originally posted on One Woman's Quest:
? I fear illness.  I grew up in a household where dis-ease was the norm.  My mother had her first dance with death as a child, then suffered a broken back in her late thirties, followed by three bouts of cancer.  In her elder years, she lives with…

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Time To Press Reset

Even when illness is chronic there is a tendency to look for signs and hope of healing.  It catches me every time : the false hope that I may have turned a corner. Undeniably, there is progress.  Last night I was able to bathe alone without worry of falling or passing out.  Last year, I […]

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Trial Run

Eight days in – each day a new adventure. Our two year plan to retirement includes winding down my husband’s business, selling off all our home and furnishings, and hitting the road in the 40′ RV we just purchased.  Never having owned an RV before, we thought it would be a good idea to park […]

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A Bad Day

ME/CFS is a mean mistress, whose sole purpose is to keep me down.  She is a dominatrix thriving on my submission, wielding her whip with heartlessness, and when she tires of the lashes – has me wincing in pain – she tosses the whip in my direction, tauntingly daring me to defend myself, knowing full well that […]

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Better Is A Relative Expression

“How are you?” my friend asked me the other morning – an innocuous enough question, if the recipient is not suffering from chronic illness. Apart from the odd text here and there, I hadn’t talked to this friend for months, so I answered a pat: “Better.” I had really called her because I knew she […]

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Cars and Faith

Assuming my faculties have regained some semblance of functioning, I will drive again.  I don’t anticipate the first run will be without incidence – traffic is known to snarl, and accidents are a regular occurrence – but I have faith in my ability to respond appropriately. I’m reminded of my first car and that one […]

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