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Systemic Describes ME/CFS

Systemic best describes the characteristic of ME/CFS:  the exhaustion, like a lead weight, hits muscles, organs, and brain creating an overall resistance to movement.  Physical energy is engaged in a battle against spirit. Two weeks ago, I attended wedding preparations and celebrations, babysat my five-year-old granddaughter, and felt like I […]

Pumped Up

Originally posted on Behind the White Coat:
“Well, you see… I was benching 300 pounds and felt something give in my right shoulder. It’s been hurting ever since.” “How long ago was this?” “Um.” He searched his memory. “Three months ago? Maybe longer.” He shrugged, then winced. “Why the hell…

Distraught? Pause

Yesterday, I was ready to give up – on everything.  I was convinced that my husband’s distraction meant he didn’t love me and that our marriage was coming to an end.  I  panicked to think that we are planning to leave home and I will be cut off from family.  […]

Needs and Relationship

Needs, it seems, are an important ingredient in any healthy relationship.  I’ve been listening to Esther Perel’s podcast:  Where Should We Begin? and in almost every couple’s counselling session she records, needs come up. “I’ve never been any good at identifying my needs,” I tell my therapist in a recent […]

Set Standards, Not Expectations

Father worked six days a week, and with the exception of Saturday, was gone from 7:30 am to 10:30 pm.  Sundays were reserved for family day:  usually church, visiting, and a formal dinner.  He could be fun at times, but typically he was tyrannical – angry and critical – calling […]

Aversion to Discord

Permanence is not a quality of harmony.  Can’t understand why I should ever hope for such a thing, yet here I am disappointed again, disagreement having chipped away at momentary bliss. Must have been born to please; born not with the usual film of childbirth, but with a bluish red […]

Criticism Be Gone!

Originally posted on One Woman's Quest:
I was forty before I could finally ask my mother about her constant criticism of me growing up.   We were alone together, in the car, driving out of town.  I had her undivided attention. “Help me to understand, something,” I prefaced the conversation. …

Is Abundance Just a State of Mind?

“What’s the worst that can happen?” Mom likes to muse.  “If you can handle that, you can handle anything.” When a marriage of seventeen years fell apart, Mom said:  “There is always Welfare.” I didn’t want to accept the ‘worst’ for my life, and so I fought to stay afloat, […]