Still Growing

February 10, 2026.Reading time 1 minute.

People pleasing is a trauma response. This statement made me stop and pause. I’ve been on a mission lately to break out of the cycle of people pleasing, and this is one revelation that I somehow missed. “It’s part of fawning,” my therapist explains. I hadn’t heard of that either. Apparently, flight, fight, freeze, or […]

Doors

September 10, 2025.Reading time 1 minute.

Even at 67, I am discovering new insights about myself. One of them is that I protect myself with walls – as impenetrable as concrete, yet invisible. I like to tell myself they don’t exist. And yet when I think about my relationships, I feel the ache of distance. I alternate between warm and standoffish […]

Response to a Recurring Dream

July 9, 2025.Reading time 1 minute.

I’m back at the restaurant where I worked throughout university and beyond. There is no organization in staffing, and the customers are smoking at the table by the entrance, and I’m allergic. I try to find someone in charge, but find only cooks smoking in the kitchen. Coming back to work here is obviously a […]

Self-Isolating

July 2, 2025.Reading time 2 minutes.

“It’s like COVID all over again,” my daughter remarks. She’s right, of course, except I’m the only one isolating. After two rounds of bugs and an infection, I have chosen to stay away from others in an attempt to give my immune system a break. Besides, I have a procedure in ten days for which […]

Postcard to Optimism from the Land of Obsessions

April 9, 2025.Reading time 1 minute.

Clouds, like the hands of some higher being, hold up the sun, obscuring her radiance. I’ve travelled this road before – a dirt path, unfettered by progress – where tombstones mark time and trees bear witness. A mist covers the land, and I have not yet deciphered the omen in it. Still, I will push […]

One Is Not The Sum of the Whole

April 2, 2025.Reading time 1 minute.

The lesson I learned, post divorce, is that letting one person dictate my well-being was ludicrous. Of course, it took me a while to get to that understanding, as I had poured all my hopes and dreams into that one man for seventeen years. I am reminded of this lesson today, with the current threats […]

Permission

February 5, 2025.Reading time less than 1 minute.

Wading through the muck of internalized blame, I stumble across a fault line, where the light breaks through. Old patterns are breaking up. My worth is not tied to how others feel, I realize. I am not the Queen of Everything. For the umpteenth time, I tell myself: I am enough. Permission granted to follow […]

Chasing bridges

January 22, 2025.Reading time less than 1 minute.

I am feeling torn apart. Afraid to breathe lest I should crumble. Definitely on edge. I know life is like this – the past circles around and confronts us when we least expect it. Things come in threes, they say – whoever ‘they’ are. First, a child missing, which triggered memories of my own abduction […]

Let Responsibility Lie Where It Belongs

August 28, 2024.Reading time 1 minute.

I was raised to be a fixer. Right up there with people pleaser, it’s a hard practice to shake. Recently, I’ve been struggling with my husband’s new habit of staying up late. I worry about whether or not he’s getting enough sleep, and concerned that he’ll hurt his neck if he falls asleep sitting up. […]

July 31, 2024.Reading time 1 minute.

In my family of origin, the emphasis was on drama – who is doing what, and how they should change it. It was akin to a herd of cats all chasing each others tails. I understand now that this the dance of co-dependency. It’s a hard pattern to break free from. Bottomline is that I […]

Focus

It’s so easy to spot in others – those that constantly complain about everything – but, do we catch it in ourselves? These days I admit to feeling overwhelmed. Everywhere I look there are things to pack, and dust balls waiting to be scooped up. I lie awake thinking about it, instead of getting much […]

Monday Mood: unmotivated

I’ve been pushing and pushing and I’ve hit an impasse. Luckily, I booked myself a reflexology treatment for this morning, so I can lean into the feeling and melt. The sky, mirroring my mood, is a big grey blob. Hopefully, the clouds and this lethargy will disperse later.