Growing with gratitude for life's challenges
FREE FROM CODEPENDENCY As I work longer with clients, it is clear that the parenting style that they were subjected to as a child is extremely important in determining how they see the world. This conditioning is often taken into adulthood and causes dysfunction in relationships and in life generally. This includes anyone who feels […]
Read MoreNeeds, it seems, are an important ingredient in any healthy relationship. I’ve been listening to Esther Perel’s podcast: Where Should We Begin? and in almost every couple’s counselling session she records, needs come up. “I’ve never been any good at identifying my needs,” I tell my therapist in a recent session. “In fact, from an […]
Read MoreFather worked six days a week, and with the exception of Saturday, was gone from 7:30 am to 10:30 pm. Sundays were reserved for family day: usually church, visiting, and a formal dinner. He could be fun at times, but typically he was tyrannical – angry and critical – calling us idiots, useless, and expletives […]
Read MorePermanence is not a quality of harmony. Can’t understand why I should ever hope for such a thing, yet here I am disappointed again, disagreement having chipped away at momentary bliss. Must have been born to please; born not with the usual film of childbirth, but with a bluish red hue of guilt – the […]
Read MoreOriginally posted on One Woman's Quest:
At thirty-one, I had to learn to change my approach to life, because the old way wasn’t working. The old way put me at the center of the family (even though I was fifth born), listening to and attempting to resolve every family issue: Do you think your…
Originally posted on One Woman's Quest:
I was forty before I could finally ask my mother about her constant criticism of me growing up. We were alone together, in the car, driving out of town. I had her undivided attention. “Help me to understand, something,” I prefaced the conversation. “When I was young, you…
“What’s the worst that can happen?” Mom likes to muse. “If you can handle that, you can handle anything.” When a marriage of seventeen years fell apart, Mom said: “There is always Welfare.” I didn’t want to accept the ‘worst’ for my life, and so I fought to stay afloat, and rather than succumb to […]
Read MoreOne of my favourite podcasts is The Moth where people share real life stories based on a theme. An episode I listened to recently focused on coincidence. According to Oxford Dictionary (online edition) the definition of coincidence is: a remarkable concurrence of events or circumstances without apparent causal connection. This particular podcast includes stories replayed […]
Read MoreI am that kid. First day of school, teacher proudly organized, in charge, forgets she is addressing humans not machines programmed to comply. I cannot tolerate oppression: authority already overbearing in my life. I am a pressure cooker, combustible, ready to explode, like an uncorked grenade counting down the seconds. “We need to set some […]
Read More“I’ve started to write short stories again – something I haven’t done since I was a kid.” “How’s that going?” “It’s disturbing, actually; the endings are the same even after all these years.” “Like what?” “Me in a straitjacket, completely mad.” “Oh, I see!” As do I – there are never happy endings, just a […]
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One Woman's Quest II 