Doors

September 10, 2025.Reading time 1 minute.

Even at 67, I am discovering new insights about myself. One of them is that I protect myself with walls – as impenetrable as concrete, yet invisible. I like to tell myself they don’t exist. And yet when I think about my relationships, I feel the ache of distance. I alternate between warm and standoffish […]

Family Dinners

April 16, 2025.Reading time 1 minute.

In response to my middle daughter cutting off contact, and once I got past the hurt and humiliation, I decided that it is closeness, not distance, I want to harbour in my family. Hence the family dinners. Once a month, same Sunday, I invite our kids to a home cooked meal. My husband suggested that […]

Chasing bridges

January 22, 2025.Reading time less than 1 minute.

I am feeling torn apart. Afraid to breathe lest I should crumble. Definitely on edge. I know life is like this – the past circles around and confronts us when we least expect it. Things come in threes, they say – whoever ‘they’ are. First, a child missing, which triggered memories of my own abduction […]

Community

October 16, 2024.Reading time less than 1 minute.

I love my solitude. The silence of my alone time allows me to plunge into creativity. Some days I feel as if I might submerge and never reappear… I suspect I suffer from social anxiety, and when I am able to recognize it for what it is and step over the fear, I often discover […]

Let Responsibility Lie Where It Belongs

August 28, 2024.Reading time 1 minute.

I was raised to be a fixer. Right up there with people pleaser, it’s a hard practice to shake. Recently, I’ve been struggling with my husband’s new habit of staying up late. I worry about whether or not he’s getting enough sleep, and concerned that he’ll hurt his neck if he falls asleep sitting up. […]

July 31, 2024.Reading time 1 minute.

In my family of origin, the emphasis was on drama – who is doing what, and how they should change it. It was akin to a herd of cats all chasing each others tails. I understand now that this the dance of co-dependency. It’s a hard pattern to break free from. Bottomline is that I […]

Tantrums

January 10, 2024.Reading time 1 minute.

The discussion was light, or so I thought. Until I mentioned that one thing that ignites his rage. Doesn’t matter what it is, does it? We all have it – that tender spot of unresolved emotion. There was no more talking to him, so I moved on; finishing a task I had previously started. But now my anger flared. He […]

Recipe For Love

November 15, 2023.Reading time less than 1 minute.

Relationships are complicated. Each generation, it seems, struggles to find the answers. My tanka is a one observation. What would you add?

Miscommunication

August 30, 2023.Reading time less than 1 minute.

The desire to be understood is riddled with personal agendas. When both parties are grasping for that same reassurance, communication becomes a minefield. I prefer conflict avoidance, but recognize it only defers the pain (and often adds to it). No matter how empathetic, or compassionate I try to be, there are always those relationships where […]