Growing with gratitude for life's challenges
We measure our days by appointments – his and mine. At a recent appointment, the doctor asks me if I’m prepared to do more tests or need a break. I appreciate his empathy but decide to go ahead with testing. Soon Winter will be upon us and getting around will be difficult. Maybe in Winter, […]
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Multi-tasking becomes a compulsion. I escape quietude at all costs. The urgency that underlies my actions wants me to believe that time and opportunity are running out. Until I catch myself spinning and stop. Question the motivation. Realize the old pattern repeating. Breathe. Now making space for the universe to fill in the blanks.
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“What’s this?” My husband slides the sheet of paper onto my keyboard just as I’m shutting down and preparing to leave the house. “Our current budget based on static expenses only.” I don’t look at it for a few days. Procrastination? Maybe. Financial issues always exhaust me. I think it stems from all those years […]
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“What do you have planned for when you’re older and less able, Mom? It would be good to have a plan documented…” This from a family group chat when I mentioned that my 95 year-old aunt had fallen and broken both legs. Although I’m 66, the addition of a disabling disease makes this question more […]
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“I’ve just been reading about you in the bathtub. That is you in the bathtub, right? At least that’s how I read it.” It’s Mom. Calling to check up on how I’m doing. She’s been worried about me since I travelled home to see her. She’s referring to a poem I wrote: A Body in the Bathtub. “Yes, it […]
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Life cycles ensurewhat once was green now golden –tribute to aging. (For Cee’s Flower of the Day)
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At 10, I ruled the world – hard peddling up steep roads and letting go on the other side thrilling to speed and risk. At 20, I felt the pressure to define my life, marry, and be somebody – driven without much compassion At 30, I relaxed a bit, celebrated having birthed three children, confident […]
Read More“Are you guys brother and sister?” the question came from our soon-to-be five-year-old granddaughter. Dropped off by her mother for an overnight stay, we had a day of cousins and uncles and aunts, and of course, Grandma and Grandpa. I brushed off her comment with a: “No, we’re married”, but the innocent observation shook me. […]
Read MoreWhile my husband remains in the Cardiac Surgery Recovery Unit (CSRU), I am struggling to maintain some sort of equilibrium so that my own health (ME/CFS) does not worsen. It is a tightrope walk, for sure. The day of surgery, I went to the hospital twice, both for extended periods of time. When I woke […]
Read MorePreoccupation with my own woes blinded me to my husband’s suffering, which culminated in a heart attack on Saturday night. We are shell-shocked. “That’s what happens to caregivers,” a callous nurse commented. Am I supposed to feel guilty? Unable to either drive myself, or push my own wheelchair, I am reliant on the goodwill of […]
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One Woman's Quest II 