Growing with gratitude for life's challenges
Even at 67, I am discovering new insights about myself. One of them is that I protect myself with walls – as impenetrable as concrete, yet invisible. I like to tell myself they don’t exist. And yet when I think about my relationships, I feel the ache of distance. I alternate between warm and standoffish […]
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“It’s like COVID all over again,” my daughter remarks. She’s right, of course, except I’m the only one isolating. After two rounds of bugs and an infection, I have chosen to stay away from others in an attempt to give my immune system a break. Besides, I have a procedure in ten days for which […]
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I wasn’t taught about boundaries as a child, in fact, I was encouraged not to have any. No one said so, specifically, but in the drive to please, I came to this interpretation. Walls, however, grew organically. I remember many a time, curled up on my childhood bed, raging and in tears, repeating over and over: ”I need nothing; […]
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She wears black slacks with a tiny white flower motif and a rose three-quarter sleeve top. The shoes on her feet glisten with rhinestone and an array of beaded bracelets on her arm rattle as she gestures while she talks. “I’m ninety-one-and-a-half, you know.” “I know Mom. It’s impressive.” She smiles and nods. Ric is […]
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Originally posted on One Woman's Quest:
“Before illness,” I tell my therapist, “I had things I was working on – I was engaged with life. Now I can’t do any of that. I feel useless.” She nods. “Yes, that is what illness does.” I’d had two days of feeling better. Two days of being…
Originally posted on One Woman's Quest:
At thirty-one, I had to learn to change my approach to life, because the old way wasn’t working. The old way put me at the center of the family (even though I was fifth born), listening to and attempting to resolve every family issue: Do you think your…
“You’re the only help I have right now, Mom! I just feel like I’m not a priority for you.” “When you spend all your energy on the kids, I feel as if there is never any left over for me. I just get the dregs.” “It would be really nice if you could spend some […]
Read MoreThere is a woman following me around, stabbing me in the chest every time I go near my husband, so I go off on my own. The pain is too much to bear. “Why are you alone?” someone asks me. “It’s just easier that way.” “Why don’t you stab her back?” “She only wounds me, […]
Read More“Your homework for this week is to write about the things your mother taught you,” my psychologist advised at the end of our session. Memories have been resurfacing and along with them rage. I am incensed that I was never protected from some of the things that happened to me. “Well, she taught me that […]
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One Woman's Quest II 