Blue Moon Blues

My mother and I sat back to back on the tiny step stool used to help patients scoot up on examining tables.  My sister laid in the bed beside us, disoriented and fearful.  She’d tried to commit suicide again. The emergency ward was overflowing with people seeking attention, and the presence of several officers in […]

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Distraught? Pause

Yesterday, I was ready to give up – on everything.  I was convinced that my husband’s distraction meant he didn’t love me and that our marriage was coming to an end.  I  panicked to think that we are planning to leave home and I will be cut off from family.  I convinced myself that I […]

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The Vortex

(Note:  Much of my inspiration for writing comes from dreams, which I typically interpret in the form of poetry, but recently I have been challenging myself to write prose.  A Bee’s Perspective is the poetic response to the dream behind this piece.) Even as the floorboards beneath her heave and crack with a thunderous roar, […]

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Illness and Isolation

Prolonged illness almost always equates to isolation. Initially, kindness reveals itself through visits from friends and coworkers, meals dropped off, and many offers to help in any way.  Not yet adjusted to my rapidly changing situation, I was overwhelmed and somewhat embarrassed by such an outpouring, having always considered myself strong and independent. Perhaps, I […]

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Depression On Board

Depression rides along with chronic illness, not as a cause, but as a response.  The limitations of this disease (ME/CFS) are not easily defined, yet, if pushed, will result in undeniable consequences.  You would think that after three years, I would know this, and yet, I continually fall into patterns of denial. We travelled 3,000 […]

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Inner Children Need Care Too

“Pay attention to your inner child,” my therapist advised me when I first got sick.   It seems that fear causes emotional regression and any needs suppressed over the years come barreling forward in irrational outbursts.  Hard to deny that one from where I’m sitting. I’ve been dreaming about children lately – children in my care […]

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Why Are We Not Talking About the Real Issues?

I was sixteen and starry-eyed when the handsome, eighteen-year-old G asked me out.  For two years I had secretly swooned over him but I never dreamed that he would notice me.  I felt like the luckiest girl alive! When he told me that he was going to be the next drummer for The Who, I […]

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