More from notes to myself. So much of my youth was lost in trying to measure up to impossible standards.
Mother wanted me to be as beautiful as my sisters, placed little value on intelligence or education. My father stayed out of the equation, his expectations a continual riddle, and consequently; I felt I was never enough.
Today’s youth are bombarded with images, and “shoulds” and ‘authenticity’ is a concept often thrown around, but seldom modelled.
How would you advise your younger self?
One Woman's Quest II 
I would tell my younger self not to worry about each and every little thing. My mother was a great supporter of everything I did and wanted to do. Unfortunately, she died when I was 23. My father was a very stern and cold man and verbally abusive. My mother was determined to send me to college in another state, otherwise, I would never know what would be considered a normal life. and she was absolutely correct in doing so.
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I am sorry you lost your mom so soon. How wonderful that she left you with a legacy of support.
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💖
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Wow – authenticity is seldom modeled. What an observation! Love your notes to yourself – so much wisdom.
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thanks Wynne
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I’d tell myself to stop and think before acting. And to follow my instincts, rather than doing what everyone “expected”. (K)
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That’s a good point. Our instincts were probably intact back then, but we were taught not to listen.
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Exactly! We were “too young” to know better, when actually we were just the right age to know.
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Mmmm, interesting. I’d advise my younger self to finish what she starts instead of leaving it hanging. I’d also tell her that I love her.
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Lol. Does your adult self finish what she starts? Telling you her love her is important.
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I’m trying to! About 50% more than I used to ☺️
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Such a great question, VJ. I think I’d encourage the younger me to worry far less about disappointing others. Thank you for this post. ❤️
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That’s a good point. Fear of disappointing others was such a driving force.
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Hugs…yep! 🥰
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I was so lucky to grow up with the understanding and kindness of my father, always encouraging me, never criticizing me. My stepmother was another story altogether. 🥲
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Classic. Nice that your father was supportive.
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Very much so that I never let her words( almost) get to me.
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Advising my younger self would not go well. I did, for the most part, what my parents wanted me to do. It turned out well, but I could have lived it up a little more. I still think, if I went back I probably would do the same. My daughter however, has always done what she wants to do.
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Ah, children making up for what we missed out on – I think that sounds normal and healthy, lol.
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You are right!
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My younger self wouldn’t listen to anybody, so any advice I’d attempt to give her now would fall on deaf ears.
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Lol. Oh you made me laugh. I’ve never considered that problem.
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😀
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