Distraught? Pause

Yesterday, I was ready to give up – on everything.  I was convinced that my husband’s distraction meant he didn’t love me and that our marriage was coming to an end.  I  panicked to think that we are planning to leave home and I will be cut off from family.  I convinced myself that I […]

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Codependency: The Role Of A Father

    FREE FROM CODEPENDENCY As I work longer with clients, it is clear that the parenting style that they were subjected to as a child is extremely important in determining how they see the world. This conditioning is often taken into adulthood and causes dysfunction in relationships and in life generally. This includes anyone who feels […]

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A Nightmare in Prose

Inspiration for my writing often comes from the Dreamtime.  I play with the words, find new meaning and typically create poetry, although some dreams offer up the basis for short stories. A recent nightmare is not cooperating with any attempts to break it down, and so I’ve decided to rewrite it in both prose (offered […]

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Illness is Loss: Encouragement Needed

Frankenstein legs, I call them, these long, slender appendages once a treasured asset, now stiff and unpredictable. Hunchbacked is my stance thanks to weakened back muscles. Cruella de Vil has nothing on me, my formerly auburn waves salt and pepper with a shock of white at the front. And when I speak there is hesitation […]

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Needs and Relationship

Needs, it seems, are an important ingredient in any healthy relationship.  I’ve been listening to Esther Perel’s podcast:  Where Should We Begin? and in almost every couple’s counselling session she records, needs come up. “I’ve never been any good at identifying my needs,” I tell my therapist in a recent session.  “In fact, from an […]

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Set Standards, Not Expectations

Father worked six days a week, and with the exception of Saturday, was gone from 7:30 am to 10:30 pm.  Sundays were reserved for family day:  usually church, visiting, and a formal dinner.  He could be fun at times, but typically he was tyrannical – angry and critical – calling us idiots, useless, and expletives […]

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Love “Swimming Lessons”!

What an incredible story!  Claire Fuller creates characters who are flawed and yet sympathetic.  Meet Gil, an aging writer and incorrigible Lothario, who sudden obsession with books leads his daughters to be concerned about his state of mind.  Meet Ingrid, his wife who has been missing for eleven years, presumed dead, and whose voice haunts […]

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Aversion to Discord

Permanence is not a quality of harmony.  Can’t understand why I should ever hope for such a thing, yet here I am disappointed again, disagreement having chipped away at momentary bliss. Must have been born to please; born not with the usual film of childbirth, but with a bluish red hue of guilt – the […]

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Simplicity: A Noble Quest

Originally posted on One Woman's Quest:
At thirty-one, I had to learn to change my approach to life, because the old way wasn’t working. The old way put me at the center of the family (even though I was fifth born), listening to and attempting to resolve every family issue:   Do you think your…

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Another Chapter Closes

The house creaks and cracks with such ferociousness, I am unable to sleep.  Perhaps it does not like the starkness of bare walls, the absence of furniture, the finality of boxes stacked and sealed.  It is my last night here – just myself, a king sized bed and a complaining house. So much has changed […]

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