Menu Home

Another Medical Dead End

I had hope for the new doctor.  His assistant said he is persistent, will get to the bottom of what is going on.  After two visits, he has dismissed me. Maybe it’s my fault. I have been noncompliant.  I didn’t take the pills prescribed.  I refused a CT scan with […]

Systemic Describes ME/CFS

Systemic best describes the characteristic of ME/CFS:  the exhaustion, like a lead weight, hits muscles, organs, and brain creating an overall resistance to movement.  Physical energy is engaged in a battle against spirit. Two weeks ago, I attended wedding preparations and celebrations, babysat my five-year-old granddaughter, and felt like I […]

ME/CFS and To-do Lists

To-do list: write publish a blog post shower and dress strip the bed and remake vacuum and dust bedroom put away groceries from yesterday prep veggies for cooking make vegetable curry make red lentil kale soup make spicy tomato chick pea soup put away clothes from laundry Reality: slept late […]

Illness is Loss: Encouragement Needed

Frankenstein legs, I call them, these long, slender appendages once a treasured asset, now stiff and unpredictable. Hunchbacked is my stance thanks to weakened back muscles. Cruella de Vil has nothing on me, my formerly auburn waves salt and pepper with a shock of white at the front. And when […]

Needs and Relationship

Needs, it seems, are an important ingredient in any healthy relationship.  I’ve been listening to Esther Perel’s podcast:  Where Should We Begin? and in almost every couple’s counselling session she records, needs come up. “I’ve never been any good at identifying my needs,” I tell my therapist in a recent […]

Stumbling Start

“How do you feel about everything that is happening?”  my therapist asked me, last visit.  “Good,”  I responded, without hesitation.  “I feel as if I’m breaking down barriers:  embracing life and possibility, despite my illness.” Yesterday, I promised to rest, but there were boxes in the way, and nowhere to […]

Another Chapter Closes

The house creaks and cracks with such ferociousness, I am unable to sleep.  Perhaps it does not like the starkness of bare walls, the absence of furniture, the finality of boxes stacked and sealed.  It is my last night here – just myself, a king sized bed and a complaining […]

Armed with Info

The floor reached out for me, pulling me down with alarming force.  I fought to remain upright, waves of nausea weakening my resolve.  One hand flew to my brow – now a pool of sweat – while the other searched for the phone. I’m calling 9-1-1, I texted my husband. […]

Full Steam Ahead

The house is sold.  We have less than thirty days to clear out, which considering we are moving into our motor home, means to get rid of everything. It’s a year ahead of schedule, I admit, but given the hot real estate market, I agreed to list the house for […]