And Then There Was Hope

April 27, 2019.Reading time 1 minute.

Three years ago today, I dragged myself out of bed, and with the aid of my walker (and likely a wheelchair), I paid a visit to a local doctor/ practitioner of Functional Medicine. Getting out in those days was a huge ordeal, and typically entailed a backlash that would last weeks. I was that sick. […]

Numbers and Chronic Illness

April 18, 2019.Reading time 2 minutes.

It’s been 5 years since illness knocked me off my feet. Tuesday, I visited the doctor with a list of 12 symptoms to discuss. She had 4 things to cover with me. We spent 1 hour and she took 2 samples, and set me up with 1 specialist and 3 more tests. She gave me […]

Shake Ups

January 5, 2019.Reading time 4 minutes.

The new year grabbed me in a choke hold and hog-tied me before I had a chance to even think about what it might bring. It started with a text that my mother was in hospital, followed by a harried searching of flights and anxious speculating about how I’ll get home. Me, who hasn’t ventured […]

Shrivelled

December 4, 2018.Reading time less than 1 minute.

Wrung out, yet alive –Autumn berries cling to life,and I resonate. (For Cee’s FOTD. Day 2 of travel, and I am feeling the effects.)

Appearances

November 15, 2018.Reading time 2 minutes.

Testing social waters – that cherished state of interaction – prone to revealing too much have been homebound, studying life without a facilitator, now attempting to penetrate invisibility gathering the salvageable bits – minimal fragments of a once whole woman, reaching out, reconnecting, reception mixed much has passed me by – no amount of homework […]

Photo a Week: Bridges

November 3, 2018.Reading time less than 1 minute.

The gap between the life I’d envisioned and this current reality is widening… I need a bridge – not a short, low one, but a large, expansive bridge to carry all my wishes, to facilitate movement of passing ideals, allow for traffic flow. Or a bridge to slow me down, dialled in to the sun’s […]

Gathering

October 10, 2018.Reading time less than 1 minute.

Squirrels, squirrels everywhere, chirping: “Get ready; be prepared”, hoarding their finds with relish treetop leaping with added zest. The geese are gathering too – like all good Canadians – making plans for the winter weighing the options for flight. Clouds gather to mark day’s end and the influx of autumn weather – and I […]

Confessions of Losses and Gains

June 26, 2018.Reading time 2 minutes.

Illness comes at a cost, yet even as the losses add up, there are gains. With the onset of summer, I recall leisurely hours spent golfing with my husband, or friends – a pastime we so loved. My clubs now take up residence elsewhere, these muscles unfit for the exertion required. My tennis racquet sits […]

Brief Connections

May 18, 2018.Reading time 3 minutes.

The morning drizzle gave way to sunshine by noon and even though I’ve been tired today, I decide to take advantage of the clearing before retiring for the evening. I grab my camera and go in search of worthy images, but my legs are useless today, so I decide to sit instead, on a picnic […]

Unsettled

May 14, 2018.Reading time 3 minutes.

The buzzer on the dryer startles me and I jump up, eager to change over the wash, only to find I have forgotten to start the washer load. I feel a tug of annoyance at myself. I am not functioning well today. Have been awake since well before 4:00 a.m. and am wired with non-sleep. […]

This Life A Road

This life a road –the way preparedsigns to guide me,and still, I get lost. Construction, distraction,disobedience – throw me off –tendency to choose tougher routes,broken down and been sidelined And yet, the road still beckons,invites progression, thrills.A rolling stone gathers no moss,my father liked to say, and so… I push ahead, keep motoring,trust the obstacles […]

Wings

(Written during my bedbound years with ME/CFS)

Myalgic Encephalomyelitis

May is Myalgic Encephalomyelitis awareness month. Also known as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, this disease is characterized by exhaustion after exertion. The exertion can be physical -taking a shower; emotional – worrying or obsessing; or mental- filling out forms. The best source of information about ME/cfs, as we call it, is the Bateman Horne Center. They […]