Growing with gratitude for life's challenges
When illness struck our household it knocked over our bucket list, spilling much of the content into the drain. We were like bystanders at a train wreck: watching our lives spiral out of control, desperately trying to sift through the rubble to find signs of survival. Depression, anger, and grief were just some of the […]
Read More“You’re the only help I have right now, Mom! I just feel like I’m not a priority for you.” “When you spend all your energy on the kids, I feel as if there is never any left over for me. I just get the dregs.” “It would be really nice if you could spend some […]
Read MoreI think there is something wrong with my internal compass. Seriously. It’s like every time I set out to do something, I end up in a totally different direction. Is it just me? When I was twenty-one, for example, I bought a one-way ticket to England where I planned to live, work, and study Shakespearean […]
Read MoreIf you’ve ever wondered what living with a disability feels like, imagine this: Judgment is your constant companion. Family, friends, and even total strangers will suddenly feel entitled to express opinions about your condition, lack of trying, mental attitude, the latest trends in healing, and so on. You may be berated for using a handicap […]
Read MoreA week after my husband completed thirty-five rounds of radiation for Stage III Prostate cancer, and a year to the date that I learned surgery to remove cancerous tissues from my breast was successful, Ric fell down a flight of steps rupturing his quad tendon. Ten weeks after surgery, he would fall again, causing further […]
Read MoreLiving with ME/CFS is often a matter of trial and error – the line between what the body is capable of and overexertion is never quite definable, except in the aftermath. Yesterday, I accompanied my daughter to Costco, which was teeming with cars and people. We found a parking spot close to the entrance, and […]
Read MoreBefore illness (ME/CFS), I had my life lined up, like a shopkeeper perfectly aligning her shelves, ready to get down to business. One more course and I would be at the top pay scale, qualified to fill many shoes in the education field. I had landed my dreamed-for job in Special Education, and was starting […]
Read MoreHesitantly, I turn the key in the lock and push the door ajar. A waft of warm, stale air accosts me. “Hello?” I’d been told there might not be a response. Something is resting against the door, so I push harder to let myself in. The beam from the light of the open doorway is […]
Read MoreI dream that Ric has removed our dining table. There has been no discussion, no explanation, just an empty space to mark his actions. Even in my dreams, I am asking questions: Is he having it repaired, or replacing it? Surely, not replacing, I think, as the table was his mother’s. I conclude that all […]
Read MoreI am learning to live in the moment, a lesson imposed by chronic illness. No use regretting yesterday’s actions or inactions, and no point fretting about or planning the future. What I know, is that there are moments of time, fleeting intervals that pass, some with profound relevance, some seemingly meaningless, and many in between. […]
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One Woman's Quest II 