Reggie

I have a crush on my brother! I know that’s not right, but he is so gorgeous! Long golden hair, blue, blue eyes, and a smile that makes me melt. I can’t look at him without feeling all funny inside, and I’m sure he can tell. He doesn’t talk much, but once he picks up […]

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So Many Questions!

It’s difficult, at eleven, to understand the rationale of adults. Why the lies? Who are they protecting? I know now that my “cousin” is actually my brother. This makes sense. Not just a brother, but my oldest sister’s twin! I cannot imagine the pain that separation has caused them. I’m so excited to have brothers! […]

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The Mystery Cousin

The boy at the door was tall and slim, and although I had no idea who he was, he said: “You must be V.J.!” A whoosh of Mom’s skirt obliterated my response. She was hugging and kissing him and exclaiming: “Oh my! Can’t believe it is you!” Then my sisters were there, crowding our small […]

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When the Unravelling Started

It was a neighbour girl that started it. We played together one day – a rare occurrence, as she seldom came outside. “How do you know you’re not adopted?” she hissed at me, as if to say: You don’t know everything. I started to answer, but then, the words got stuck. How did I know? […]

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Lost and Found

Fallen limbs and pathless woodsno obstacle for a wild childleft to her own devices,searching for a self. Only with age, and sproutingcurves, did I learn to be afraidof shadows, that the woodsequated with wolves and lurking And that abandoned placeshouse evil – held captive therejust this side of adolescence – lost all that innocence gifts […]

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Tell Us A Story, Grandma!

“Tell us a story, Grandma! Tell us about when you were a girl?” The question throws me. First, because childhood is so far away, but secondly, because my stories are tainted with pain and hurt. Looking into this pair of eager eyes though, I know they want a story filled with good will and hope. […]

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Bedside Conversations

“Mom, I want you to know that I don’t harbour any ill will toward our past. If I seek to know what happened, it is only to understand myself so that I might heal.” Mom nods, considers my words. “There is so much I could have done differently.” “No. You did what you could with […]

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“Apprenticed to Venus”: a Review

Subtitled My Secret Life with Anaïs Nin, Apprenticed to Venus is the part memoir, part novel of Tristine Rainier, who mentored under the famous diarist. Although  I have been inspired by Nin’s words, I have known very little about her, so I was eager to read this book.  Rainier, on an errand from her artist aunt, encounters […]

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Baseline

Baseline is the name of the road on which my final high school stands.  My ‘last chance’ authorities called it, as I’d been ‘asked to leave’ the previous one.  Turned out the attendance officer was a parent of a former classmate and recognized me.  I felt trapped.  Skipping school was how I coped in those […]

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Trauma’s Shadow is Rage

“…he had always been popular and happy and things had always worked out.”                                       (Holly LeCraw, The Swimming Pool) I close the book, feeling the rage shifting just below my sternum.  It’s the second time this week […]

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