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Tightrope Walking

While my husband remains in the Cardiac Surgery Recovery Unit (CSRU), I am struggling to maintain some sort of equilibrium so that my own health (ME/CFS) does not worsen.  It is a tightrope walk, for sure.  The day of surgery, I went to the hospital twice, both for extended periods […]

First Hurdle Cleared

Just returned from the hospital, having left my husband in the Cardiac Surgery Recovery Unit.  He was not transferred to the unit until after 9:00 pm, so while I was able to see and touch him, he was not yet conscious. It is hard to pinpoint the gamut of emotions […]

Rising Fire

Had my second ozone/UVH/Glutathione treatment yesterday.  This time there was no surge of physical energy, in fact, I felt quite tired afterwards, although my heart tended to race most of the day, interrupting any attempts at rest. Of course, it could be the onrush of rage I feel at the […]

Dental Decisions

“Have nothing to eat or drink after midnight,” the woman told me on the phone. “They are going to put me out,” I tell my daughter, “I’ll need someone to drive me and be with me the rest of the day.” “It’s only a tooth, Mom!” says my eight-month-pregnant middle […]

Glimmers of Hope

“I’ve had this recurring dream in which we are on vacation and he leaves me – just walks away,” I tell my therapist.  “I wake up in a panic, feeling abandoned.” “Oh dear,” she says.  “I wonder if these dreams would change if he started looking after himself?” “Yes!” I […]


Preoccupation with my own woes blinded me to my husband’s suffering, which culminated in a heart attack on Saturday night.  We are shell-shocked. “That’s what happens to caregivers,” a callous nurse commented.  Am I supposed to feel guilty? Unable to either drive myself, or push my own wheelchair, I am […]

Post Ozonotherapy Day 3

Having researched all the possible side effects and coming up empty handed – in fact there were few negatives for any part of the treatment – I began to suspect the detox.  Another sleepless night and no improvement makes me think it has to be something, so I took a […]

The Day After

The post treatment high lasted for nine hours and then the crash occurred, washed over me like torrential rains, draining energy and leaving me feeling quite unwell. Flu-like symptoms, swelling and throbbing kept me up most of the night.  When I did finally fall asleep, it was only to awaken […]