Now To Work

Indecision, I’ve come to realize, is where the stress lies – that place between possibility and decisive action. Four nights I didn’t sleep, juggling worries and excitement. Now that we’ve acted, put pen to paper, I am able to make lists, and start the packing process. Exhaustion invites sleep.

“It’s a lot of work!” I exclaim to Ric.

“Necessary but worthwhile,” he reminds me.

Yes. In the end we’ll be happy we did it. And once we sell this house then the fun decisions come: What colours to paint? What kind of window coverings? Where to put the furniture?

The focus this week was decisions, and as always, the contributors inspired me with their posts. Check them out if you haven’t already:

I Write Her
Eugi’s Causerie II
Stuff and what if…
Heart to Heart
Culture Shocks
Shilpa Nairy
one letter UP

(If I missed anyone, please let me know. Not all links are working for some reason.)

See you tomorrow for a new challenge!

Decision Made

Monday we were excited about the possibility, but then overnight doubts set in for me. He talked me through it, assuaged my fears. The house around the corner with the beautiful views also needs work.

We called the owner for another viewing. Ric was right. My concerns were not founded. I was in. But then Ric had a change of mind. We talked it out.

Disability limits my financial input. The burden is on Ric. I don’t want him to stress over a move. I tell him so.

“But the house would be so much better for you,” he says.

“I’m fine,” I tell him. “The most important thing is that we are happy, and we are, right where we are.”

“I’ll give it one shot,” he decides. The owner is asking an exorbitant price. We both agree not to stretch beyond what is practical.

Ric goes to meet with the owner. The dogs and I wait. I anticipate our bid will fail.

Backyard through screened door off kitchen.

The owner accepted our offer. The house is ours. Now we just have to get this one ready for sale.

Send energy. I’ll need it.

VJ’s Weekly Challenge #101: decisions

I love our home. It’s the perfect size for the two of us plus our two doggies. We have all the amenities we need. The only thing that is missing, I confide to a friend, is nature.

For two years, we lived in our 41′ motor home, traversing North America and discovering many wondrous places. Nature was our focus. Prior to that, we lived in a small cottage in the city, with a double lot and large old trees that immersed us in a park-like setting. This current home, set between other similar houses, lacks the view.

Shortly after my confession, Ric came home from a meeting and told me that a house in our neighbourhood, backing onto the ravine and hiking trails, is for sale.

“Are you interested?”

Double doors off the dining area open to a large deck spanning the back of the house. The view is pure green – mature trees and shrubbery, with birdsong and wildlife, and not a house in sight. A sunroom, built on the side of the house, provides four season viewing.

What’s not to like?

The house needs work. It’s larger than our current home, which means more costly. Do we need the added expense just when it seems we were working out a manageable retirement budget?

Oh, but that view.

We’ve been waffling about it for the past few days.

Is this manna from heaven – an ask answered; or temptation that will just create more stress?

Decisions, decisions.

How do you decide when faced with difficult choices? What decisions are weighing at present? I look forward to where this prompt will lead you.

To participate, create a post and link back here.

And the Winner Is…

WindowsWhat I didn’t tell you in my last post is that we put an offer on Option #1 immediately after viewing it.  It has everything we want and more.  We had driven to this community and looked at houses before, but they sell fast, so when we found out this one was sold conditional on the purchasers selling their own home, we asked to view it.

Hard to tell, though, which way people will go.  Put in this position ourselves, we would waive the condition and leap – but that’s us.

“There were competing offers at the time,”  the realtor warns us.  “They fought for this house.”

So we let it go and set our hopes on the lake, knowing that Option #2 would serve if nothing else did.

“When did you know that this wasn’t for us?” Ric asked me on the drive home from the lake.  “I knew right away.  Too many hidden costs. I felt like I was being taken for a ride.”

treesnhouseI hadn’t known.  I was looking for a solution that would compensate for losing the first house.  We stopped for dinner in the second town, and then drove around the neighbourhood, orienting ourselves.

Option #2 it would be.  Budget wise, this was the best choice.

“I like that the backyard is private,” I stated.  We’d picked out the unit we wanted.  Tomorrow if the sales office was open, we’d make an offer.

“Maybe we should wait?”  I dared to suggest.  “Maybe another house will come up in the town we want.”

“No.  We need to take care of this now.”

We lingered over our morning beverages, he on his screen, me on mine.  Then, just after noon, he decided to cut the grass, while I decided it was a good day to clean the motor home.  At 2:15, his phone rang.  I answered.

“How did you like the Bluffs?” the realtor asked.

StMary'shome“Well…it was interesting,” I answered, trying to be tactful.  I elaborated on costs, size, facilitates, lack of maintenance.

“Good thing it’s not a problem for you then,” she said and my breath froze on the intake.  “The house is yours!  Drop by the office tomorrow and we’ll firm up the paperwork.”

We take possession August 1st.  In the meantime, we’ve got some work to do.



The buzzer on the dryer startles me and I jump up, eager to change over the wash, only to find I have forgotten to start the washer load.  I feel a tug of annoyance at myself.  I am not functioning well today.  Have been awake since well before 4:00 a.m. and am wired with non-sleep.

It is noon.  I have swept the floor, done up the dishes, tidied and rested.  Tried to sleep but it only comes in snatches – there is too much on my mind.

wintertreetopWe have been home a week and I’m not certain that I have really landed.  Ric has jumped back into work – he denies the fact, but will be gone all day.  His work is like that – he can ignore it for months and it is just as willing to let him back in when he returns.  I haven’t worked in four years.

Still unable to drive, I am stranded here on the edge of life, too beside myself to venture out, too restless to settle at anything other than domestic chores.

winter'saftermathRic wants us to buy another house.  He thinks we need to get back in before the market out-prices us.  I remind him of how much work a house is, and how in our last house we had to hire help all the time.  I like how I have autonomy in our small space.

He says this small space is not good for him unless we are travelling, that he doesn’t move around enough, needs more to do.

As a compromise, we are going to look at manufactured housing – small bungalows set on cement slabs – one floor living in a slightly larger setting.  Most of the communities, like this park, are away from the city where family members still live.  I would still face isolation.

I curse this brain of mine that cannot cope with driving.

Maybe we’ll find a community with social activities built-in.

tangledmess“What do you want to do?”  my daughter asks me, as if it’s that easy to know after years of catering to husbands, to kids, to employers.  “Don’t you have a say?”

Of course I have a say.  I always have a say.  I just don’t know what I want.  A little bigger place would be good, I can imagine.

I thought we’d be travelling for more years before this became an issue.  I thought we’d committed to five years or until we couldn’t do it anymore.  I hadn’t expected to know so soon where I wanted to be at the end of it all.

It’s likely the lack of sleep making me jittery, my mind unable to settle.

Is this what happens after six months of being away?