Trauma (tanka)

February 7, 2024.Reading time 1 minute.

Took some time to re-evaluate where my energy goes, as my health has been deteriorating lately. The one thing Myalgic Encephalomyelitis teaches is that energy for anything (be it mental, emotional, or physical exertion) is limited. Trying on a stripped back existence in order to reset. That has meant limited screen time. “The idle mind is the devil’s […]

The Path to Wellness

April 2, 2018.Reading time 7 minutes.

“You seem to be doing better; are you going back to work?” Returning to work after time off due to flu, is expected. There might be a day or so of feeling weak, but it’s soon forgotten as the body springs back into action. Recovery from a debilitating illness, however, takes time. There are, according […]

ME Awareness May 12th

May 11, 2017.Reading time 3 minutes.

It is just past noon and I am still in bed. It is doubtful that I will be able to do much else today. Yesterday, I went for lunch with my daughter, her mother-in-law and the baby, an occasion for which I rested up. One hour we were gone, and then I came home for […]

Policy vs Need

April 26, 2017.Reading time 5 minutes.

“I can’t process your application with the information I’ve been given,” the woman on the phone is officious, likely hates her job, I theorize. “Your doctor has only sent me four medical reports; there is not enough here to support an inability to work.” I might have guffawed at this. “I can barely manage day-to-day […]

Body Talks

March 16, 2017.Reading time 1 minute.

Listen to your body. Glib advice, especially if ignoring the body is habitual, and compliance is not listed as a character trait. What would my body have to say, I wonder. My legs, stiff and inflexible, lumbering along like Frankenstein; are they telling me to put them up, resign myself to rest? My arms, heavy […]

Dreaming Of Work

December 27, 2016.Reading time 4 minutes.

I dream that I am teaching again, have two classes: a grade 9 Math first thing in the morning and a senior History last period. I am late, so someone else has to start the Math class, and when I do arrive, I am unprepared and uncertain that I can proceed. Last class is more […]

Better Is A Relative Expression

October 28, 2016.Reading time 3 minutes.

“How are you?” my friend asked me the other morning – an innocuous enough question, if the recipient is not suffering from chronic illness. Apart from the odd text here and there, I hadn’t talked to this friend for months, so I answered a pat: “Better.” I had really called her because I knew she […]

See It From Disability’s Side

August 3, 2016.Reading time 3 minutes.

If you’ve ever wondered what living with a disability feels like, imagine this: Judgment is your constant companion. Family, friends, and even total strangers will suddenly feel entitled to express opinions about your condition, lack of trying, mental attitude, the latest trends in healing, and so on. You may be berated for using a handicap […]

Present Distance

I’ve lived the fog of distance –life’s highway a series of hillsdestination without promise Have learned that acceptance gains perspective,that climates change, and hope sustains,and that in stillness dreams renew. Now I travel quieter paths, appreciatespace, have surrendered to a slower pace –certain that this too will change. (image my own)

Floral Balm

Of Trauma Born

Goodbyes tarnishfaith, like ashesscattered My heart grows dismissal,craves a balm of connectionseeks quiet harbour Remind me what it feels like to be safebreath nurturing life,love a rhythmic flow In meditationI reach for peaceimagine salvation But this wayward chaosunrestrainedcements me in doubt Tainted intentionsI lift up to the Universea tempest without hope My soul incubates malicea […]