Non-Compliance

March 1, 2023.Reading time less than 1 minute.

If I listen to my body, I will lose hope. I will lie down, and never get up again. I am sticking to non-compliance, and hitching my hope to will. Mine and God’s. …as soon as I can get out of this bed… (On Wednesdays, I borrow from old writings – journals and blog posts. […]

Adjusting Focus

October 28, 2022.Reading time 2 minutes.

Sometimes my focus is off. Like in the photo above – I thought I was capturing the body of water beyond, but in reality I only managed to get the fronds and a bit of fence. I’m still sick. I’ve stopped counting the days, but two bouts of antibiotics and many weeks later, I am […]

Moments

August 12, 2022.Reading time 1 minute.

The trips along the river have decreased, replaced by ongoing texts and emails. A family of cardinals, newly hatched, line our windowsills, their curiosity endearing, yet; my camera remains on the desk. My health has taken a plunge – not unexpected, but despairing. I’ve been locked away inside fighting the sludge. August the 23rd, our […]

Limping Along

December 15, 2021.Reading time 1 minute.

Ruled out: COVID, heart failure, cancer, and blood clots. Twelve hours in emergency, under intense scrutiny revealed no answers. Symptoms continue. You need “restorative rest” the ER doctor emphasized. “Hire help if you can.” I suspect this is just another stage in my journey with Myalgic Encephalomyelitis. The least amount of effort tires me, leaves […]

Life Takes A Turn

December 10, 2021.Reading time less than 1 minute.

Life, like the weather, has taken a turn. No answers at the moment, but I am once again confined to bed rest. Restorative rest, is what the doctor has ordered. Limited screen time, hired help to run the house, no outings. I have a few posts pre-scheduled on my poetry site, and will visit when […]

Balance Would Be Good

August 18, 2021.Reading time 1 minute.

Life feels a bit like this photo right now – buggy. While Ric is on the mend, I have been undergoing tests for chronic issues. Last week, two biopsies were taken and a growth removed. No answers yet. “Are you scared?” Ric asks me as we lie awake, minds processing in the stillness of night. […]

The Climb From Here

February 18, 2021.Reading time 1 minute.

Ric is back in hospital. The infection is – for the moment – winning, having disabled his leg. An elevated blood pressure and difficulty breathing is what sent him back. He has fluid on the lungs. Two different medical teams are now following his case. It feels as if the climb from here is monumental. […]

In the Aftermath

September 18, 2020.Reading time less than 1 minute.

All the fading bitsdetract – I am still alivepassion asserting. (A quick check in. I am recovering well; still needing lots of rest. Thanks for all the good wishes. Image from my collection.)

Avoidance Therapy

May 10, 2019.Reading time 2 minutes.

I just want to sleep. Situational, my therapist calls this type of depression. Saw my family doctor this week, and she confirmed that the skin condition could be cancer. At best, it is a rare condition that will need specialist care. It is both itchy and painful, but there can be no treatment until the […]

Nature’s Balm

May 7, 2019.Reading time 4 minutes.

Questions flood in as evening sets, the initial shock of hearing the ‘c’ word now wearing off. I sleep little, spending way too much time with Dr. Google, without any satisfaction. Ric is scheduled to go into town a bit later, so I take the car early and head to a new trail in our […]

The Car Crash

That time, playing in the muck,foot emerging without a boot,hopping and laughingall the way home… Then, later, on the busthe impact of the carthe windshield crackinglike a giant spiderblood all overthe dead lady’s face All in the past –sunroof openkids riding along,music blaring But trauma is a spiderArachne reaching into happy placesand as much as […]

Empty Surges

Measured in spoonfulsprogress imperceptible Still feel the angst ofno-time-to-breathe lifestyle pressured from withinto get-it-done spend unavailable resourcesruminating solutions push against the wallswith little to show surrender to impotencyand wait for the next surge.

Hurricane

Sister was a hurricane –destruction her path Tried to calm, encouragebut her core was damaged Try to reach her now, across death’s abyss understand beforeher legacy swallows me.