Trial Run

Eight days in – each day a new adventure. Our two year plan to retirement includes winding down my husband’s business, selling off all our home and furnishings, and hitting the road in the 40′ RV we just purchased.  Never having owned an RV before, we thought it would be a good idea to park […]

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Lessons From Ballroom Dancing

Early on in our relationship, Ric and I signed up for ballroom dancing classes. It was a small class for beginners, so we thought it might be a good fit; both of us loved to dance. “I’m not very good at letting someone else take the lead,”  I confessed on the first night. “In dancing, […]

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In the Game of Life, I’m a Fumbler

I think there is something wrong with my internal compass.  Seriously. It’s like every time I set out to do something, I end up in a totally different direction.  Is it just me? When I was twenty-one, for example, I bought a one-way ticket to England where I planned to live, work, and study Shakespearean […]

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Love As a Four-Letter Word

My aunt gave up her daughter for a chance at love. Can’t remember which marriage it was – there were seven in all – but he didn’t want children, so she just asked around if someone would take M, then sixteen. A few relatives tried, but my cousin, the depths of whose rejection is unfathomable, strayed […]

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Illness, Life’s Intruder

Before illness (ME/CFS), I had my life lined up, like a shopkeeper perfectly aligning her shelves, ready to get down to business.  One more course and I would be at the top pay scale, qualified to fill many shoes in the education field.  I had landed my dreamed-for job in Special Education, and was starting […]

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Salmon Intentions or Battle of the Can

A single onion, its papery crisp coating still intact, sits on a small cutting board, signalling intent.  Beside it, a sharp-edged knife, and an unopened can of salmon. It is the salmon can that has turned this scenario from an action shot to a still-life. I had planned to have it for dinner last night […]

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Tightrope Walking

While my husband remains in the Cardiac Surgery Recovery Unit (CSRU), I am struggling to maintain some sort of equilibrium so that my own health (ME/CFS) does not worsen.  It is a tightrope walk, for sure. The day of surgery, I went to the hospital twice, both for extended periods of time.  When I woke […]

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Glimmers of Hope

“I’ve had this recurring dream in which we are on vacation and he leaves me – just walks away,” I tell my therapist.  “I wake up in a panic, feeling abandoned.” “Oh dear,” she says.  “I wonder if these dreams would change if he started looking after himself?” “Yes!” I exclaim, relieved.  These are not […]

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