Learning What Matters

February 21, 2022.Reading time 2 minutes.

Parents brought children to the occupation in Ottawa. They set up camp on a main thoroughfare, in front of apartment buildings and retail shops, and obstructed the lives of others. They honked their big rig horns, left their diesel engines running day and night, and set up barbeques, and food tents, and bouncy castles, and […]

Dormant

February 7, 2022.Reading time 1 minute.

There’s a restlessness in me that defies explanation. It’s not that I am bored – I have any number of creative projects on the go – it’s that I have a sense that I’m missing something, something that lies deep at my core. But what? And how do I access it? Something that is dormant […]

Trauma’s Shadow is Rage

September 22, 2018.Reading time 3 minutes.

“…he had always been popular and happy and things had always worked out.” (Holly LeCraw, The Swimming Pool) I close the book, feeling the rage shifting just below my sternum. It’s the second time this week […]

Tired of the Same Old Endings

June 1, 2017.Reading time 5 minutes.

“I’ve started to write short stories again – something I haven’t done since I was a kid.” “How’s that going?” “It’s disturbing, actually; the endings are the same even after all these years.” “Like what?” “Me in a straitjacket, completely mad.” “Oh, I see!” As do I – there are never happy endings, just a […]

Many Layers of Illness

September 30, 2016.Reading time 4 minutes.

“Could my life history have contributed to this illness?” I asked my therapist one day. We’ve been seeing each other now for the better of three years and it seems the trail of ‘stuff’ is never-ending. “I think it is fair to say that given your childhood, your marital history, and the years you did […]

What Memories Linger?

August 26, 2016.Reading time 3 minutes.

“My dreams have turned violent lately, lots of blood. What could that mean?” “What does blood represent to you?” “Well passion, life giving, but these dreams have a woman being decapitated, a baby being cut with scissors, and it always occurs in connection to my childhood home.” “Not life giving, then.” “I usually convert the […]

The Car Crash

That time, playing in the muck,foot emerging without a boot,hopping and laughingall the way home… Then, later, on the busthe impact of the carthe windshield crackinglike a giant spiderblood all overthe dead lady’s face All in the past –sunroof openkids riding along,music blaring But trauma is a spiderArachne reaching into happy placesand as much as […]

Empty Surges

Measured in spoonfulsprogress imperceptible Still feel the angst ofno-time-to-breathe lifestyle pressured from withinto get-it-done spend unavailable resourcesruminating solutions push against the wallswith little to show surrender to impotencyand wait for the next surge.

Hurricane

Sister was a hurricane –destruction her path Tried to calm, encouragebut her core was damaged Try to reach her now, across death’s abyss understand beforeher legacy swallows me.