V.J. Weekly Challenge #58: Just When I Thought…

July 22, 2019.Reading time 2 minutes.

Just when I thought I knew where we were headed, life threw another curveball. It happened simply enough. Ric experienced a brief period of blindness in one eye. “Just the bottom half of the eye,” he’d tell the doctor later. “And some weakness in my left arm.” The family doctor recommended a trip to Urgent […]

Sacred Witness

July 21, 2019.Reading time 1 minute.

Illness affords me time,and time begs observation. Used to think that if I prayed enough,was enlightened enough, I could call uponthe presence of a divine spirit to intervene,change the course of suffering. Now, I know that we are not called uponto alter God’s plans, control not withinour mortal hands, but we are commanded to observe, […]

V.J.’s Weekly Challenge #57: Presence

July 15, 2019.Reading time 2 minutes.

“Isolation threatens to consume me,” I tell my therapist in a recent visit. “I’m not willing to disappear into the woodwork again.” The doctors say my illness is relapsing; it’s how they explain the onslaught of infections. I’ve just finished another round of even stronger antibiotics. While my immune system fights invasion, I am staving […]

Shadows Speak

July 14, 2019.Reading time 2 minutes.

Shadows stalk our conversations, Mother and I. It’s not so much what is said, but what hovers between the lines spoken. Fear stalks her – death so close – and I sidestep darkness. It’s an illusion, of course, this thought that we can think ourselves well, or avoid pain by focusing only on the light. […]

V.J.’s Weekly Challenge #56: Language

July 8, 2019.Reading time 2 minutes.

“We need language to tell us who we are, how we feel, what we’re capable of – to explain the pains and glory of our existence.” – Maya Angelou “Do you not like the book you are reading?” My granddaughter shrugs in response. Normally an avid reader, I wonder why she keeps setting this particular […]

Sometimes Risk Is Called For

July 7, 2019.Reading time 4 minutes.

Jane Juska has been on my mind all week. At sixty-six, the divorced, mother of one, decided it was time to reclaim her sexuality, so she posted an ad in The New York Review of Books: Before I turn 67 – next March – I would like to have a lot of sex with a […]

Reclaiming Mindfulness

July 6, 2019.Reading time 3 minutes.

Post marital disruption, I would go to the river every day, say a prayer for guidance, power walk off the stress, and then sit in quiet contemplation facing the water. My son referred to it as “Mom finding inner peace.” Power walking is a thing of the past, and every day is no longer doable, […]

V.J.’s Weekly Challenge #55: reclaim

July 1, 2019.Reading time 3 minutes.

In July of 2013, I contracted pneumonia. After a course of treatment, I continued to experience weakness, shortness of breath, and frequent tachycardia. By January, I had seen a gamut of specialists, received no answers, and was worse. Test after test eliminated obvious possibilities. In the end, I was diagnosed with Myalgic Encephalomyelitis. The doctor […]

Hope My Appreciation is Not Subtle

June 30, 2019.Reading time 1 minute.

Subtle, not-so-subtle, we choose to listen or turn away; attempt to decode – a look, a scent, a nuance – Is this invitation,judgment, oran opening?Seems subjectivityinterprets subtle. The focus this week has been “subtle”. For me, it was a commitment to pay attention to my body – rest when I needed it, and attempt to […]

Every Step a Miracle

June 27, 2019.Reading time 3 minutes.

Angel of Death. The name had started to stick. As a volunteer, working with the dying, my job was to help patients relax, ease some of their stress. “She needs you more than me,” on old Irish doctor said as we both arrived at a patient’s home simultaneously. “I can give her medication for the […]