Indecision, I’ve come to realize, is where the stress lies – that place between possibility and decisive action. Four nights I didn’t sleep, juggling worries and excitement. Now that we’ve acted, put pen to paper, I am able to make lists, and start the packing process. Exhaustion invites sleep.
“It’s a lot of work!” I exclaim to Ric.
“Necessary but worthwhile,” he reminds me.
Yes. In the end we’ll be happy we did it. And once we sell this house then the fun decisions come: What colours to paint? What kind of window coverings? Where to put the furniture?
The focus this week was decisions, and as always, the contributors inspired me with their posts. Check them out if you haven’t already:
I love our home. It’s the perfect size for the two of us plus our two doggies. We have all the amenities we need. The only thing that is missing, I confide to a friend, is nature.
For two years, we lived in our 41′ motor home, traversing North America and discovering many wondrous places. Nature was our focus. Prior to that, we lived in a small cottage in the city, with a double lot and large old trees that immersed us in a park-like setting. This current home, set between other similar houses, lacks the view.
Shortly after my confession, Ric came home from a meeting and told me that a house in our neighbourhood, backing onto the ravine and hiking trails, is for sale.
“Are you interested?”
Double doors off the dining area open to a large deck spanning the back of the house. The view is pure green – mature trees and shrubbery, with birdsong and wildlife, and not a house in sight. A sunroom, built on the side of the house, provides four season viewing.
What’s not to like?
The house needs work. It’s larger than our current home, which means more costly. Do we need the added expense just when it seems we were working out a manageable retirement budget?
Oh, but that view.
We’ve been waffling about it for the past few days.
Is this manna from heaven – an ask answered; or temptation that will just create more stress?
How do you decide when faced with difficult choices? What decisions are weighing at present? I look forward to where this prompt will lead you.
Is procrastination a pause or fear seeping in? Let’s take a moment – broken silence – a timely pause … Reflect collect our thoughts leave a seed and remember wonder Be like water like the squirrel touch the softness wave goodbye to the noise observe till the end of this ride.
(This poem is an amalgamation of our collective thoughts on this week’s focus: pause. Thank you for the many inspired posts you shared:)
The world is a noisy place at the moment, and rightfully so. The bubble of denial has burst when it comes to systemic racism. As people march in protest demanding change, a virus lurks, threatening further losses. And, I haven’t even mentioned the absurdity of political ranting that seems so inappropriately off base right now.
It is tempting to throw oneself into the fray – emotions running high, intellect chomping for a word – and yet, I fear a loss of grounding. We need calm minds, and clear agendas to guide us in such times.
Passions are ignited. Words and actions have a place. Change is afoot. Let us remember to pause – to quiet the noise – long enough to ensure we are actually making a difference.
May your pauses bring you inspiration this week. I look forward to your responses.
“A store in town has activity books for the kids; can we go?”
Now that we’ve expanded our bubble, I’m thinking of ways to entertain the grandchildren. I haven’t set foot in a store for three months. The idea excites me.
“Better put on something decent,” I tell Ric laughingly. I pull out a top I bought last summer and haven’t worn yet and throw on a pair of capris. Luckily, they fit.
While we’re in town we pop into the spice shop, and then the hardware store. We wear our masks, only touch what we’re going to buy, and don’t linger near anyone. Armed with purchases, and feeling chuffed that we’ve supported local businesses, we head home.
That’s when I realize I had my pants on inside out.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I moan. Ric glances my way and shrugs – he’s not the most observant.
Then, I laugh. The privilege of being old.
And there you have it: your theme for the week. It’s not necessary to use the word ‘privilege’ in your post, and any form of creativity is welcome.
From my place of privilege, I sit and watch George Floyd beg for breath, call out for his mama, and know that I can never truly understand the plight of another, and that I, by virtue of my whiteness, am part of the problem. I have no words adequate enough to express what I am feeling.
I tried. I sent out an expression of disbelief, of horror, and the response came back: This the best you got, white woman.
The author is correct. The comment deserved. I can turn off the TV and the issue moves into the background of my suburban, peaceful life. And no matter how much that image, and his voice haunts me, I am still safely distanced. Such is the nature of my sin. I am guilty of turning a blind eye; pretending.
Racial profiling doesn’t just happen somewhere else. It happens to young men in my neighbourhood – pulled over every time they go out, because we whitey’s are suspicious. It happens the moment we turn on our screens and watch a crime drama where the perpetrators are men of colour.
And it will continue to happen as long as we are willing to look away.
Today, I feel helpless. Inadequate. Guilty.
Today, I have no words.
This week’s focus is inspired by the events unfolding in the news, but is not limited in its scope. There is much in life that leaves us speechless – both tragic and awe-inspiring. This week, think about the moments that leave you searching for words. Responses can be written, photographic, artistic, or musical. I look forward to your input.
And what will you feel when death, as you proclaim, passes you by
Targets a beloved aunt, an elderly neighbour, a nephew with asthma
Will you pause to ponder your part express regret for misplaced pride
Or preoccupied with your own rights sporting chest protruding blinders will you deny accountability?
“The president doesn’t wear a mask” you pronounce the words as gospel too young to recognize that choices have consequences, irreversible
Risks, by nature, require careful consideration recklessness an unworthy motivator Reward is in the conquering – fear, doubt No treasure gained when tragedy ensues.
Life is risk, and always there is consequence, and sometimes reward. Risk-reward has been the focus this week and I thank all for participating. My risk is putting out a challenge each week, and the reward is you!