War – Not War

current events, nonfiction, opinion, , , 19 Comments

Somedays, words elude me. I want to say the war continues in Ukraine, but ‘war’ is not the right word. It suggests two-sided, as in a dispute that has escalated and come to blows. What happened in Ukraine is not that. It is an act of terrorism and greed at its most heinous.

Ric and I have accepted a fifth family into our homes. This family – a mom, 10 year-old son, and the Grandmother endured the sirens and bomb shelters for a year before deciding to come. They are clearly traumatized. We only hope that our home offers a moment of solace in all that they have endured and will have ahead of them. As the hummingbird in my image reminds me – joy is fleeting and peace oh so welcome in times like these.

The Grandmother shared with me that her husband, long dead, was a Russian, and that they lived together and made a life there. She said he is half her soul. She cannot fathom that the country of her love would do something like this. To further the pain, her Russian relatives believe the propaganda put out by Putin. She has lost them also.

Whatever power, control, or riches are gained from ‘war’ cannot remedy the damage caused. We have a 10-year-old boy who startles at every shift in the house. Imagine how many other little lives will carry this trauma into the future.

Today, I will focus on being the hummingbird – passing on small moments of care and hopefully, joy.

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Permission to write, paint, and imagine are the gifts I gave myself when chronic illness hit - a fair exchange: being for doing. Relevance is an attitude. Humour essential.

19 thoughts on “War – Not War”

  1. My very first encounter with Ukrainian refugees was last year, at the veterinarian. I went to pick up cat food and there was a woman with a dog. The dog was holding its own leash… I found the dog intriguing so I approached the woman and told her, “Your dog is so beautiful and smart!” The woman replied to me in English, “I don’t understand”. That’s when I had a suspicion… I asked where she was from and she said, “Ukraine”. I sat down with her and tried to comfort her and gave her a hug. She left Ukraine with her mother, her son and the dog, Chelsea. She didn’t mention the husband. I didn’t ask. But I kid you not, until that day I kept reading about the war but it was sitting face to face with someone who ran away from it, that I knew it was real. I cried the whole damn day after that. I wish I could help more than what I’m doing. Donations here and there and posts on social media. The suffering as well as the strength of Ukrainian people are just beyond words. I’ve never spoke to anyone except my mom about that encounter and typing this, feels just like that day. Chelsea’s mom, my heart is still with you and every Ukrainian out there. Thank you VJ for being so wonderful and helping that family and others. We must stick together through this… Only together we can defeat the evil that is the “war”. 🇺🇦

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    1. I think everyone needs an encounter like yours to remind them that what is happening is not humane. Thank you so much for sharing. Every little bit helps. I can attest to that.

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  2. You are so right, this is not a war but rather a willful act of violence against the people of Ukraine. I am in awe of your kindness and generosity, VJ, and I’m sure the families you have helped will be forever thankful for your actions. You are a good human, VJ! ❤

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    1. It really is. We sat up late last night, and our new guest told us stories of atrocities. She volunteered to help others cut off by war, until she could no longer hold it together for her son.

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  4. My heart goes out to the family you are helping. We have had quite a few children from Ukraine in our schools in the past year and the anxiety these children feel is devastating. I have a hard time understanding how we allow so many leaders without empathy to continue to lead. We are the so called evolved, but I am not so sure. I applaud you VJ for making a difference one family at a time.

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  5. This is so poignant. We should remember how far removed we are. Simply reading bites from websites or hearing minutes of coverage on TV pales in comparison to getting to know the real impact to a person’s life in the way you have described. And only once we can really see the life-long changes to a single life, can we can widen the lens to an entire country or people. Thanks for helping the blogging community to remember this through your posts.

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  6. Thanks for taking your 5th family in to help. I know the population in the Ukraine is partially Russian but the grandmother’s story brings the situation to life. My heart goes out to them. Thanks for sharing.

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    1. Thanks Sarah. The irony is that our fourth family just moved into their first apartment, and the night before Ric and I shook that we had done enough, and would not host any more… Ah well, we are easy going, and have the room.

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