Growing with gratitude for life's challenges
I spotted him as soon as I exited the back door of the school. He stood on the field, just off the paved area where students were now scattering after the final bell. He wore a bulky, beige parka, fists shoved into jean pockets, a few locks of dirty blonde hair falling over cold grey eyes; […]
Read MoreI blame it on Somerset Maugham – that summer somewhere around my sixteenth year, when I immersed myself in his writing and found an argument for living impulsively. Can’t say exactly what it was in his words that prompted this conclusion (the storylines lost in my faded memory), but I do remember being fascinated with the […]
Read MoreAssuming my faculties have regained some semblance of functioning, I will drive again. I don’t anticipate the first run will be without incidence – traffic is known to snarl, and accidents are a regular occurrence – but I have faith in my ability to respond appropriately. I’m reminded of my first car and that one […]
Read MoreWords, like crickets, leap from my mind – chirping pests whose trajectory eludes my dulled reflexes, scuttling around the periphery of my awareness. Harmless, really, in the singular; a cacophony in multitudes threatening to multiply further and rob me of this semblance of sanity. I must intuit their rhythm, define the notes in workable phrases, capture the […]
Read MoreI am not always in possession of my own faculties and the resulting anger lashes out, mostly at my husband, whom I hope recognizes it is seldom personal. I hate myself in these moments – not all of me – just the malfunctioning parts. It happens when I overexert myself. Systemic Exertion Intolerance Disease is the new […]
Read More“Can we watch something?” My four-year-old granddaughter climbs onto the bed and snuggles in. It’s been a routine we’ve shared as long as I’ve been ill. The question makes her parents cringe; they are trying hard to raise their child without excessive screen time. Cable TV does not exist in their world, so coming to […]
Read MoreSome mornings I just don’t want to wake up, I’m having such a good dream. It happened this morning: there I was wrapped in the arms of an unrequited love, discovering what we had missed all these years. G.W., the subject of these dreams, was a high school classmate. He was tall, blond with blue […]
Read MoreWhen illness struck our household it knocked over our bucket list, spilling much of the content into the drain. We were like bystanders at a train wreck: watching our lives spiral out of control, desperately trying to sift through the rubble to find signs of survival. Depression, anger, and grief were just some of the […]
Read More“You’re the only help I have right now, Mom! I just feel like I’m not a priority for you.” “When you spend all your energy on the kids, I feel as if there is never any left over for me. I just get the dregs.” “It would be really nice if you could spend some […]
Read More“Could my life history have contributed to this illness?” I asked my therapist one day. We’ve been seeing each other now for the better of three years and it seems the trail of ‘stuff’ is never-ending. “I think it is fair to say that given your childhood, your marital history, and the years you did […]
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One Woman's Quest II 