Growing with gratitude for life's challenges
Even when illness is chronic there is a tendency to look for signs and hope of healing. It catches me every time : the false hope that I may have turned a corner. Undeniably, there is progress. Last night I was able to bathe alone without worry of falling or passing out. Last year, I […]
Read MoreEight days in – each day a new adventure. Our two year plan to retirement includes winding down my husband’s business, selling off all our home and furnishings, and hitting the road in the 40′ RV we just purchased. Never having owned an RV before, we thought it would be a good idea to park […]
Read MoreI get that this illness thing may be part of higher learning; a divinely inspired gift to awaken my soul, but really? My resume is already humongous – I am over-animated with life experiences. Okay, okay, so we are co-creators, make life choices, must be engaged in the process, but what kind of school is […]
Read MoreME/CFS is a mean mistress, whose sole purpose is to keep me down. She is a dominatrix thriving on my submission, wielding her whip with heartlessness, and when she tires of the lashes – has me wincing in pain – she tosses the whip in my direction, tauntingly daring me to defend myself, knowing full well that […]
Read More“How are you?” my friend asked me the other morning – an innocuous enough question, if the recipient is not suffering from chronic illness. Apart from the odd text here and there, I hadn’t talked to this friend for months, so I answered a pat: “Better.” I had really called her because I knew she […]
Read MoreEarly on in our relationship, Ric and I signed up for ballroom dancing classes. It was a small class for beginners, so we thought it might be a good fit; both of us loved to dance. “I’m not very good at letting someone else take the lead,” I confessed on the first night. “In dancing, […]
Read MoreAssuming my faculties have regained some semblance of functioning, I will drive again. I don’t anticipate the first run will be without incidence – traffic is known to snarl, and accidents are a regular occurrence – but I have faith in my ability to respond appropriately. I’m reminded of my first car and that one […]
Read MoreI am not always in possession of my own faculties and the resulting anger lashes out, mostly at my husband, whom I hope recognizes it is seldom personal. I hate myself in these moments – not all of me – just the malfunctioning parts. It happens when I overexert myself. Systemic Exertion Intolerance Disease is the new […]
Read MoreWhen illness struck our household it knocked over our bucket list, spilling much of the content into the drain. We were like bystanders at a train wreck: watching our lives spiral out of control, desperately trying to sift through the rubble to find signs of survival. Depression, anger, and grief were just some of the […]
Read More“You’re the only help I have right now, Mom! I just feel like I’m not a priority for you.” “When you spend all your energy on the kids, I feel as if there is never any left over for me. I just get the dregs.” “It would be really nice if you could spend some […]
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One Woman's Quest II 