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Do Grandchildren Prolong Life?

A recent Facebook post suggested that babysitting contributes to prolonged life for grandparents.  Given how exhausted I am after spending time with my granddaughters, I find that hard to believe, and yet… there is an undeniable glow that lingers for days every time I am exposed to those precious little […]

Pumped Up

Originally posted on Behind the White Coat:
“Well, you see… I was benching 300 pounds and felt something give in my right shoulder. It’s been hurting ever since.” “How long ago was this?” “Um.” He searched his memory. “Three months ago? Maybe longer.” He shrugged, then winced. “Why the hell…

A Glimmer of Hope

“Was I right about the doctor?”  the middle-aged receptionist asked cheerfully as I emerged from the examination room and waited for my next appointment. “He’s very good,” I agreed.  I had hesitated to see one more specialist after a history of dead ends trying to get a diagnosis for what […]

Armed with Info

The floor reached out for me, pulling me down with alarming force.  I fought to remain upright, waves of nausea weakening my resolve.  One hand flew to my brow – now a pool of sweat – while the other searched for the phone. I’m calling 9-1-1, I texted my husband. […]

Pain

Pain. I push against it. Challenge it, like a warrior intent on proving that I am indestructible, unwilling to flinch.  If I ignore it, I tell myself, then it will cease to have power over me. Except, bit by bit it gnaws at my edges, tearing me down and just […]

Policy vs Need

“I can’t process your application with the information I’ve been given,” the woman on the phone is officious, likely hates her job, I theorize.  “Your doctor has only sent me four medical reports; there is not enough here to support an inability to work.” I might have guffawed at this.  […]

Still Loving My Doc

The challenge, when dealing with a chronic illness – in my case ME/CFS – is staying positive.  Momentary improvements in health are toppled by extreme crashes.  It’s like living in an eddy where, every once a while, the current quiets and it feels as if there might be an escape, […]

Illness and Isolation

Prolonged illness almost always equates to isolation. Initially, kindness reveals itself through visits from friends and coworkers, meals dropped off, and many offers to help in any way.  Not yet adjusted to my rapidly changing situation, I was overwhelmed and somewhat embarrassed by such an outpouring, having always considered myself […]

Depression On Board

Depression rides along with chronic illness, not as a cause, but as a response.  The limitations of this disease (ME/CFS) are not easily defined, yet, if pushed, will result in undeniable consequences.  You would think that after three years, I would know this, and yet, I continually fall into patterns […]

Body Talks

Listen to your body. Glib advice, especially if ignoring the body is habitual, and compliance is not listed as  a character trait. What would my body have to say, I wonder. My legs, stiff and inflexible, lumbering along like Frankenstein; are they telling me to put them up, resign myself […]