Balance Would Be Good

Life feels a bit like this photo right now – buggy. While Ric is on the mend, I have been undergoing tests for chronic issues. Last week, two biopsies were taken and a growth removed. No answers yet. “Are you scared?” Ric asks me as we lie awake, minds processing in the stillness of night. […]

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The Climb From Here

Ric is back in hospital. The infection is – for the moment – winning, having disabled his leg. An elevated blood pressure and difficulty breathing is what sent him back. He has fluid on the lungs. Two different medical teams are now following his case. It feels as if the climb from here is monumental. […]

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In the Aftermath

All the fading bitsdetract – I am still alivepassion asserting. (A quick check in. I am recovering well; still needing lots of rest. Thanks for all the good wishes. Image from my collection.)

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Rachel Sunshine

“Tell me a favourite memory from your travels,” my golden-haired nurse asked me as she scoured my bruised arms for an accessible vein. I’d blown another IV and options were limited. Rachel Sunshine I called her, this wisp of a young woman who, at first hospital-glazed glance, glowed a with a yellow aura. So I […]

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The Numbers Don’t Tell All

“We only test the front line workers.” This from Public Health. My daughter has been sick for days with cough. Via video chat, her family doctor says she likely has COVID-19. She prescribed inhalers and cough medicine. It didn’t really help. So she called the doctor again. “I can’t see you in my office if […]

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Avoidance Therapy

I just want to sleep. Situational, my therapist calls this type of depression. Saw my family doctor this week, and she confirmed that the skin condition could be cancer. At best, it is a rare condition that will need specialist care. It is both itchy and painful, but there can be no treatment until the […]

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Nature’s Balm

Questions flood in as evening sets, the initial shock of hearing the ‘c’ word now wearing off. I sleep little, spending way too much time with Dr. Google, without any satisfaction. Ric is scheduled to go into town a bit later, so I take the car early and head to a new trail in our […]

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Numbers and Chronic Illness

It’s been 5 years since illness knocked me off my feet. Tuesday, I visited the doctor with a list of 12 symptoms to discuss. She had 4 things to cover with me. We spent 1 hour and she took 2 samples, and set me up with 1 specialist and 3 more tests. She gave me […]

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If I Knew; I’d Change It

I’m struggling with myself. It isn’t the first time, and I’m certain it won’t be the last. There is no definable reason, and yet my emotional self tries to find blame: it’s Ric’s behaviour; it’s because I’m homesick; it’s my illness. Rationally, I recognize that my life is full of blessings right now, and this […]

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Confessions of Losses and Gains

Illness comes at a cost, yet even as the losses add up, there are gains. With the onset of summer, I recall leisurely hours spent golfing with my husband, or friends – a pastime we so loved. ┬áMy clubs now take up residence elsewhere, these muscles unfit for the exertion required. My tennis racquet sits […]

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