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M.E. and the Brain

My brain does not function properly.  I’ve written before about the difficulty in retrieving words and processing information, all symptoms of Myalgic Encephalomyelitis.  Another bi-product of inflammation on the brain, or perhaps it’s the nervous system, is that my mind locks on something and won’t let it go. Typically, during […]

The ‘C’ Word

“I sat in the waiting room, naked from the waist up save for the hospital green awkwardly tied in front.  This was a call back: not the kind you pray for after an audition. “In nine out of ten times, it’s nothing,” the voice had said over the phone.  She […]

Five Year Review

November 16, 2012, I penned: Cancer, it turns out, it is a powerful proponent of simplicity. Faced with uncertainty, one is forced to examine the complexities of life and cull. Our lives are reduced to three priorities: – Making healthy choices – Caring for relationships – Reducing financial burden. Necessity […]

Please Watch “Unrest”

Just finished watching Jennifer Brea’s award-winning documentary on ME/CFS entitled, Unrest, and so many thoughts are racing through my mind.  This is an important film, not just for the millions missing because of this disease and their loved ones; it should be required viewing for all who work in the […]

Do Grandchildren Prolong Life?

A recent Facebook post suggested that babysitting contributes to prolonged life for grandparents.  Given how exhausted I am after spending time with my granddaughters, I find that hard to believe, and yet… there is an undeniable glow that lingers for days every time I am exposed to those precious little […]

Pumped Up

Originally posted on Behind the White Coat:
“Well, you see… I was benching 300 pounds and felt something give in my right shoulder. It’s been hurting ever since.” “How long ago was this?” “Um.” He searched his memory. “Three months ago? Maybe longer.” He shrugged, then winced. “Why the hell…

A Glimmer of Hope

“Was I right about the doctor?”  the middle-aged receptionist asked cheerfully as I emerged from the examination room and waited for my next appointment. “He’s very good,” I agreed.  I had hesitated to see one more specialist after a history of dead ends trying to get a diagnosis for what […]

Armed with Info

The floor reached out for me, pulling me down with alarming force.  I fought to remain upright, waves of nausea weakening my resolve.  One hand flew to my brow – now a pool of sweat – while the other searched for the phone. I’m calling 9-1-1, I texted my husband. […]

Pain

Pain. I push against it. Challenge it, like a warrior intent on proving that I am indestructible, unwilling to flinch.  If I ignore it, I tell myself, then it will cease to have power over me. Except, bit by bit it gnaws at my edges, tearing me down and just […]

Policy vs Need

“I can’t process your application with the information I’ve been given,” the woman on the phone is officious, likely hates her job, I theorize.  “Your doctor has only sent me four medical reports; there is not enough here to support an inability to work.” I might have guffawed at this.  […]