Growing with gratitude for life's challenges
“If twenty percent of couples are affected by infidelity, then who do you think that might be in our circle of friends?” It was a favourite game my former husband and I played after leaving our monthly get-together with the other moms and dads from our son’s preschool class. “Well out of ten couples that […]
Read MoreThis pedestal of responsibility has elevated me, out of reach, out of touch, lumps together children, mate, mother sister… Caregiver extraordinaire, present overcrowded by obligations, am unwell, off topic, fed up, surely… I am other abled, have room for more, non martyr related, hesitant to plan, my purpose for being so intricately tuned to the […]
Read MoreThere is a woman following me around, stabbing me in the chest every time I go near my husband, so I go off on my own. The pain is too much to bear. “Why are you alone?” someone asks me. “It’s just easier that way.” “Why don’t you stab her back?” “She only wounds me, […]
Read MoreMy aunt gave up her daughter for a chance at love. Can’t remember which marriage it was – there were seven in all – but he didn’t want children, so she just asked around if someone would take M, then sixteen. A few relatives tried, but my cousin, the depths of whose rejection is unfathomable, strayed […]
Read More“Your homework for this week is to write about the things your mother taught you,” my psychologist advised at the end of our session. Memories have been resurfacing and along with them rage. I am incensed that I was never protected from some of the things that happened to me. “Well, she taught me that […]
Read MoreI’m obsessed with the television reality show: Married At First Sight. The show promotes itself as a social experiment: over 30,000 singles apply to have experts find them a suitable spouse, out of which, six are chosen. It’s a bit like coming across a car accident, and not being able to tear your eyes away; […]
Read More“Are you guys brother and sister?” the question came from our soon-to-be five-year-old granddaughter. Dropped off by her mother for an overnight stay, we had a day of cousins and uncles and aunts, and of course, Grandma and Grandpa. I brushed off her comment with a: “No, we’re married”, but the innocent observation shook me. […]
Read MoreWrote a prescription for the perfect man: made him tall, strong, romantic, dependable, family oriented; told myself I was ready. Projected expectations onto the first likely candidate – single dad, three full-time kids – read desire in his brooding eyes, ignored the burden of his grief, the irrational speed at which we moved, the complications […]
Read MoreA secret: I had to teach myself how to receive love. Born fifth of my mother’s six children, I was unexpected – an ill-advised accident, given the difficulties my mother had in previous child births. Conceived during a tumultuous time – after the father of her first children abandoned her, beaten and penniless – I […]
Read MoreI dream that Ric has removed our dining table. There has been no discussion, no explanation, just an empty space to mark his actions. Even in my dreams, I am asking questions: Is he having it repaired, or replacing it? Surely, not replacing, I think, as the table was his mother’s. I conclude that all […]
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One Woman's Quest II 