Growing with gratitude for life's challenges
“I’ve started to write short stories again – something I haven’t done since I was a kid.” “How’s that going?” “It’s disturbing, actually; the endings are the same even after all these years.” “Like what?” “Me in a straitjacket, completely mad.” “Oh, I see!” As do I – there are never happy endings, just a […]
Read More“Grandma, when will you be better?” It is 5:00 on a school morning, and I am sitting at my granddaughter’s bedside nursing her through a sore tummy. “Not sure, Honey.” “Oh,” she shrugs. She is four and has never known me any other way. Later, we snuggle up and watch Moana. “You are just like […]
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Dear Dad, We all gathered together last night at D’s and were reminiscing about your death. It’s been ten years, and funny how we all remember it differently. I say ‘all’ but really there was just D and I, her two sons, and my middle daughter and family. Our family has dwindled away to nothing. […]
Read MoreI’m in love with my doctor. I realized it this afternoon, when having just returned from a quarterly visit; I opened my email to find three messages from his office, all with attachments outlining the new course of treatment he has assigned me. It’s not that I didn’t know the emails were coming – handouts […]
Read MoreEven when illness is chronic there is a tendency to look for signs and hope of healing. It catches me every time : the false hope that I may have turned a corner. Undeniably, there is progress. Last night I was able to bathe alone without worry of falling or passing out. Last year, I […]
Read MoreAssuming my faculties have regained some semblance of functioning, I will drive again. I don’t anticipate the first run will be without incidence – traffic is known to snarl, and accidents are a regular occurrence – but I have faith in my ability to respond appropriately. I’m reminded of my first car and that one […]
Read MoreSaw a picture of you today – us, just approaching sixteen – and instantly recognized the awkwardness with which you carry yourself: the painful self-consciousness, never knowing quite where you fit in or even if you are good enough to be in the picture. Since today is our birthday, I decided to dedicate this post […]
Read MoreLiving with ME/CFS is often a matter of trial and error – the line between what the body is capable of and overexertion is never quite definable, except in the aftermath. Yesterday, I accompanied my daughter to Costco, which was teeming with cars and people. We found a parking spot close to the entrance, and […]
Read MoreDear Friend, I saw you in my dream; you were across the street and I caught myself hesitating – should I wave, acknowledge you, or keep on going? Then you headed towards me, crossing what is now more a river than a street, there is so much water that has passed between us. You gave […]
Read MoreBefore illness (ME/CFS), I had my life lined up, like a shopkeeper perfectly aligning her shelves, ready to get down to business. One more course and I would be at the top pay scale, qualified to fill many shoes in the education field. I had landed my dreamed-for job in Special Education, and was starting […]
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One Woman's Quest II 