When my eldest sister was diagnosed with acute leukaemia and given a month to a year to live, I had to scramble to be there for her. You see, I was deathly afraid of hospitals, and almost fainted the day she had her spinal tap. I had to find a way to conquer my phobias and help her.
Someone suggested a conference being offered at our local university, on death and dying. I signed up. It included a weekend workshop with Dr. Bernie Siegel, author of Love, Medicine, and Miracles.
While there, I heard about Reiki – a system of balancing energy. I signed up for that too. Soon, I was meeting every Wednesday with practitioners of a variety of “healing” backgrounds. I became a workshop junkie, attending every retreat and conference and absorbing it all.
My sister thought I was nuts and would have none of it. I, however, was undergoing a vital transformation and embarking on a path that would encompass my life. I cannot begin to describe how rich and fulfilling those years were. I was very blessed.
And I was poor. The dichotomy got to me. It was not enough to do such soulful work, I had to support my family. So, I went back to school and became a teacher.
And then, I got sick. Too ill to work. I thought I had lost it all…until things started to get worse, and I had a little talk with the Divine Being upstairs.
“I accept that I’m not in control,” I conceded for the millionth time in my life. “I accept that you have a different plan for me.”
It’s not cancer. It’s yet one more rare and incurable disease to add to my list, but at least there is a treatment for it.
And later today, I’m going next door, where family has gathered to watch their father die. I have offered my services.
(My challenge this week is acceptance. Won’t you join me?)