Life Story

aging, current events, life, , , 29 Comments

Can’t focus on what I’ll be remembered for tomorrow: too busy living my best self today.

“The problem with you,” a friend once told me, “is that you lack commitment.” She was talking about a meditation group that I had organized and facilitated for eighteen months, until my third child was born. With three children under five, I made the decision to turn my attention fully to parenting. It’s not like someone else couldn’t take over.

I’m in a similar situation now. After 29 months of helping Ukrainians, including writing columns for two local papers, I am making the decision to back down and focus on my health. The trouble is that having just received a prestige award for my work, others are asking more of me.

It is tempting and flattering to pursue more accolades, but not my style. If something needs doing, and I have the skill set and support, I’m all there, until I’m no longer needed. My perspective. It’s never my intention to make people dependent on me.

Besides, the projects I have sitting on the shelf are calling me. And Ric and I have not travelled since 2019. When I get through this slew of doctors’ appointments I’m facing right now, I just want to find a beach and chill.

Thoughts?

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Permission to write, paint, and imagine are the gifts I gave myself when chronic illness hit - a fair exchange: being for doing. Relevance is an attitude. Humour essential.

29 thoughts on “Life Story”

  8. You may be abe to acheive more by doing less. Not all the appeals for help will be things that are good picks for you. My suspician arer that who will not listen to a person who needs to ration their activities due to health concerns lacks empathy, and may not be a great partner in work.
    Then there is the old, but true parable about charity beginning at home. Self-care now will allow you to help more later.
    Stepping back is not the same as stepping down. You are carefully choossisng your efforts for maximum effect.

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  10. My sense of you is that you will always have the heart and capacity to help others – whether it’s in your beautiful artistic work or your wholehearted, hands-on philanthropy. But the beach? It’s calling to you. I can hear it…💕

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  12. What a statement from your friend. Gesh! I’m glad you know your limitations and set boundaries VJ. Many people (particularly women), don’t do that very well. Taking care of yourself is the number one priority, after all. If you don’t look after yourself, how can you look after anyone else properly? After your doctor appointments, I think ‘looking after you’ sounds a lot like a holiday at the beach 🙂

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  13. Sounds like a plan – and a good one IMHO. Carpe diem. The question I asked myself when I was hesitating (for a short second) about retiring from teaching (which I did really enjoy) was ” if this was the last year of my life, how would I like to spend it?” I have faith in you, VJ. Living your best self sounds grand!! Hugs, Sarah

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    1. That is a really good question to ask ourselves, Sarah. I’m going to share that with my husband who is having trouble letting go of work. Thanks for the vote of confidence.

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