Permission to write, paint, and imagine are the gifts I gave myself when chronic illness hit - a fair exchange: being for doing. Relevance is an attitude. Humour essential.
A week after my husband completed thirty-five rounds of radiation for Stage III Prostate cancer, and a year to the date that I learned surgery to remove cancerous tissues from my breast was successful, Ric fell down a flight of steps rupturing his quad tendon. Ten weeks after surgery, he would fall again, causing further […]
Living with ME/CFS is often a matter of trial and error – the line between what the body is capable of and overexertion is never quite definable, except in the aftermath. Yesterday, I accompanied my daughter to Costco, which was teeming with cars and people. We found a parking spot close to the entrance, and […]
Dear Friend, I saw you in my dream; you were across the street and I caught myself hesitating – should I wave, acknowledge you, or keep on going? Then you headed towards me, crossing what is now more a river than a street, there is so much water that has passed between us. You gave […]
Before illness (ME/CFS), I had my life lined up, like a shopkeeper perfectly aligning her shelves, ready to get down to business. One more course and I would be at the top pay scale, qualified to fill many shoes in the education field. I had landed my dreamed-for job in Special Education, and was starting […]
I’ll Give You the Sun, by Jandy Nelson is a poignant, multi-faceted approach to many issues facing young people today; a coming of age story that examines both the female and male experience through the voices of twins, Jude and Noah. Not surprisingly, this novel has won many awards (click on link above for listing). […]
Hesitantly, I turn the key in the lock and push the door ajar. A waft of warm, stale air accosts me. “Hello?” I’d been told there might not be a response. Something is resting against the door, so I push harder to let myself in. The beam from the light of the open doorway is […]
A secret: I had to teach myself how to receive love. Born fifth of my mother’s six children, I was unexpected – an ill-advised accident, given the difficulties my mother had in previous child births. Conceived during a tumultuous time – after the father of her first children abandoned her, beaten and penniless – I […]
I dream that Ric has removed our dining table. There has been no discussion, no explanation, just an empty space to mark his actions. Even in my dreams, I am asking questions: Is he having it repaired, or replacing it? Surely, not replacing, I think, as the table was his mother’s. I conclude that all […]
Keeping a dream journal is more than just a diary for me, it is a way to connect with my inner self, make sense of the my sometimes garbled thought processes, and focus on what is important in the here and now. It is also the inspiration for much of the poetry I write. Having […]
“Why do you wear this thing on your wrist?” “To measure my heart rate; it’s recommended that I keep it under 100.” “Let’s take another look at that theory.” This is my seventh visit to Dr. B., a practitioner of Functional Medicine. Having just finished the ozonotherapy IV treatments, we are meeting to discuss progress […]