Growing with gratitude for life's challenges
Jen at Tripping Through Treacle has inspired me to rewrite my bucket list. Instead of focusing on loss, I can rethink my aspirations. I love it! This is a perfect activity for Myalgic Encephalomyelitis awareness month. Actually, I feel like I’ve just had a bucket list year. Thanks to my husband’s determination and constant willingness […]
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Fear is insidious; it creeps into the psyche and buries itself deep without any conscious effort. It manifests in anxiety, stalls progress, and threatens to define its host. Today, I did something I haven’t done in well over four years; I went for a walk in the woods, unattended. I took my camera and my […]
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“You seem to be doing better; are you going back to work?” Returning to work after time off due to flu, is expected. There might be a day or so of feeling weak, but it’s soon forgotten as the body springs back into action. Recovery from a debilitating illness, however, takes time. There are, according […]
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I’ve faced worse, I told myself when the diagnosis came; I’ll get through this too. And I believe it. Whatever it takes, I am committed. That doesn’t mean that the struggle is lessened in any way. The struggle is very real. It begins with knowing self. I’ve never been one to accept anything at face value. […]
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Two years ago, I was barely able to get out of bed. Two years ago, I wondered if life would ever get better, or if I was doomed to a future of isolation and deprivation. Words were the weapon I employed to battle my way out of the kind of depression that accompanies debilitating illness. […]
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Before illness, I counted days and hours, not out of drudgery – I had stretched myself beyond normal limitations. Before illness, I wore responsibility like a hero and defined by work, prioritized tasks above well-being. Before illness, I joked about the disabled, lounging around, living the life of leisure, usurping the system. Before illness, I […]
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The ‘misspent’ years of my youth were dedicated to sneaking into blues bars, underage, to catch the soulful music of Muddy Waters, Downchild Blues Band, and even B.B. King himself. I was hooked on blues, so the thought of visiting Memphis thrilled me. Beale Street was top of my list of ‘must sees’. To kick […]
Read More“I had lunch with some of your old colleagues yesterday and we were talking about you.” Never a good start to a conversation when your relationship to the mentioned parties ended the day you stopped working. “Oh, who?” The people mentioned are acquaintances, only one actually worked with me and it was before ME/CFS struck. […]
Read MoreI had hope for the new doctor. His assistant said he is persistent, will get to the bottom of what is going on. After two visits, he has dismissed me. Maybe it’s my fault. I have been noncompliant. I didn’t take the pills prescribed. I refused a CT scan with dye. In fairness, the doctor […]
Read MoreSystemic best describes the characteristic of ME/CFS: the exhaustion, like a lead weight, hits muscles, organs, and brain creating an overall resistance to movement. Physical energy is engaged in a battle against spirit. Two weeks ago, I attended wedding preparations and celebrations, babysat my five-year-old granddaughter, and felt like I was finally progressing beyond this […]
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One Woman's Quest II 