Not Quite

December 30, 2017.Reading time 2 minutes.

His name was Almost, but we called him “Not Quite”. He was tall, all awkward elbows and knees, as only a sixteen-year-old can be. Wore his hair neatly cut, unlike many of that time. He had dark, brooding eyes and a hawkish nose, and he was my boyfriend. We were both cast in the high […]

Incessant Chatter

December 16, 2017.Reading time 1 minute.

“Silent!” the teacher, breaking from the lesson she had been delivering, turned towards me. I cringed, slinking down in my chair, choking on my ‘sorry’. My classmate shifted quickly, happy to have missed the wrath, but as soon as the teacher turned her back, she leaned in again to resume our conversation. “That’s it! Miss […]

RV-Able: Don’t Back Up!

November 15, 2017.Reading time 7 minutes.

The English language is full of expressions that have more than one application. To back up – along with its many forms – is one of them. For example, as in my last post, backed up is a euphemism for excrement that is not following the protocols of natural processing – or in our case, […]

RV-Able: Walmart Overnight

October 24, 2017.Reading time 3 minutes.

Let’s spend the night in a Walmart parking lot, are not words I’d ever thought I’d hear in my lifetime, but here my husband was suggesting it with all the enthusiasm of a twelve-year-old boy. “Really?” But why? We were en route from our last RV park and had a reservation at the next stop. […]

Brief Notes

June 10, 2017.Reading time 2 minutes.

Dear Parents, Sorry I didn’t always do things in the way (or order) you thought I should, but quite frankly, your screwups made me seriously doubt your wisdom, and besides, what could I ever hope to learn from conformity? p.s. I hope I turned out alright in your eyes. Dear Kids, I know I haven’t […]

Horizontal Champion

December 15, 2016.Reading time 3 minutes.

Sleeping in was a sin in my father’s eyes. Even as a teenager, no matter how late we’d been out the night before, if we weren’t up with the sun, Dad would treat us to an icy face wash. The early bird catches the worm! Laziness was not tolerated either. If we were ever caught […]

Lunch Bag Letdown

December 8, 2016.Reading time 4 minutes.

Some stories just beg telling and this is one of them. I knew there would be trouble the minute I laid eyes on the gold lame’ lunch bag my husband plopped on the counter in front of me. My old one, an industrial blue hardware store model, had drowned the day before in a bath […]

Mystery of the Bar of Soap – Updated

December 6, 2016.Reading time 3 minutes.

Taking my bath this morning, I discovered a very peculiar thing – a full bar of white, oval shaped soap sitting on the holder at the side of the bath. I know that may not sound odd, however; I do not use bar soap – ever! Especially the kind with the cheap floral scent such as this […]

Life Lesson Rant

November 7, 2016.Reading time 1 minute.

I get that this illness thing may be part of higher learning; a divinely inspired gift to awaken my soul, but really? My resume is already humongous – I am over-animated with life experiences. Okay, okay, so we are co-creators, make life choices, must be engaged in the process, but what kind of school is […]

In the Game of Life, I’m a Fumbler

September 24, 2016.Reading time 3 minutes.

I think there is something wrong with my internal compass. Seriously. It’s like every time I set out to do something, I end up in a totally different direction. Is it just me? When I was twenty-one, for example, I bought a one-way ticket to England where I planned to live, work, and study Shakespearean […]