Category: ME/CFS
A Change of Venue
The biopsy was July 12th. My follow up appointment was not until September 4th. Having been through many of these, we concluded that there was no diagnosis that would disrupt travel, so went ahead and planned. We would fly out on the 7th. After seeing the specialist. Turns out there was a concern with the […]
Read MorePacking
We’ve decided, after five years of being homebodies, to try travelling again. He’s making reservations, while I make to-do lists and try to decide what to pack. Excited by the possibility, he draws up ambitious itineraries, and I’m feeling reality close in. What won’t fit into any suitcase, I gently remind him, is the promise […]
Read MoreMountain (tanka) Thoughts
Ever the mountainPresence looming, commandingClimb! Climb! It beckons – My soul, magnetized, respondsPursuing new heights – compelled. When my mother lost her eyesight, I confessed that I would give up at that point, but here I am, into my second year of failing vision and still climbing. Oh, my loss is not as great as […]
Read MoreGuilt is a Crow
I seem to be stuck in an unhealthy cycle – I push myself beyond my limit and then crash. I’m driven by expectations I’ve set for myself and then taunted by guilt when I can’t fulfill them. There is no room in this toxicity to stop and appreciate accomplishments. Guilt is a crowpecking at my […]
Read MoreProlonged Illness and Isolation
“Isolation is seldom listed as a symptom of chronic disease, but it certainly is a component. The need for human interaction is very real, in fact, psychologically, I would say it is essential. Making a conscientious effort to reach out to others, balancing social activity with limited energy, and valuing myself enough to keep the […]
Read MoreA Rocky Path
When health takes a hit, the road ahead becomes littered with unknowns. After months of waiting, I finally got in to see a neurologist. Actually, the call came on the very day I was about to tell my doctor to cancel the referral. For ten years I have lived with Myalgic Encephalomyelitis. Diagnosed, that is. […]
Read MoreIgniting Wonder
Health issues have dampened my Christmas spirit. Not that I was ever overly enthusiastic – too many memories cloud the seasons – and this year, there is no energy to decorate the house. Ric’s solution is to call in help, and I confess that even that sets me deeper into depression. How will I manage the commotion? Natasha […]
Read MorePerpetually seeking Balance
Bit by bit, these Autumn days have drained me, and still I push. First there was the trip to Toronto for tests (none of them revealing answers), then; we decided to host Thanksgiving, which involved three days of preparation (I thought I’d be okay if I did most of the work in advance), and then; […]
Read MoreRocky Path
Last time I was in the hospital, the admitting doctor asked me about a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) order. “Have you had the opportunity to discuss it with a loved one?” she asked. “Of course. No heroic measures!” I emphasized. “I’ve spent the last ten years living with chronic disease; I have no aspiration to […]
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One Woman's Quest II 