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Two years ago, I was barely able to get out of bed.  Two years ago, I wondered if life would ever get better, or if I was doomed to a future of isolation and deprivation.  Words were the weapon I employed to battle my way out of the kind of […]

How Illness Improved my Writing

It’s no mystery that stripped of all obligations and confined to a bed provides the coveted time to pursue writing skills, however; it is the actual experience of illness (in my case ME/CFS) that provides the platform for expansion.  Although I have been a ‘writer’ since my early years, the […]

A Glimmer of Hope

“Was I right about the doctor?”  the middle-aged receptionist asked cheerfully as I emerged from the examination room and waited for my next appointment. “He’s very good,” I agreed.  I had hesitated to see one more specialist after a history of dead ends trying to get a diagnosis for what […]

On Acceptance and Illness

“Grandma, when will you be better?” It is 5:00 on a school morning, and I am sitting at my granddaughter’s bedside nursing her through a sore tummy. “Not sure, Honey.” “Oh,” she shrugs.  She is four and has never known me any other way. Later, we snuggle up and watch […]

Still Loving My Doc

The challenge, when dealing with a chronic illness – in my case ME/CFS – is staying positive.  Momentary improvements in health are toppled by extreme crashes.  It’s like living in an eddy where, every once a while, the current quiets and it feels as if there might be an escape, […]

Body Talks

Listen to your body. Glib advice, especially if ignoring the body is habitual, and compliance is not listed as  a character trait. What would my body have to say, I wonder. My legs, stiff and inflexible, lumbering along like Frankenstein; are they telling me to put them up, resign myself […]

Doctor Love

I’m in love with my doctor. I realized it this afternoon, when having just returned from a quarterly visit; I opened my email to find three messages from his office, all with attachments outlining the new course of treatment he has assigned me. It’s not that I didn’t know the […]

Time To Press Reset

Even when illness is chronic there is a tendency to look for signs and hope of healing.  It catches me every time : the false hope that I may have turned a corner. Undeniably, there is progress.  Last night I was able to bathe alone without worry of falling or passing […]