Dreams: A Vehicle for Self-Reflection

I’m waiting in the RV for my husband to finish shopping and drive us away. This is how a recent dream begins.  For over thirty years now, I have been recording and working with my dreams as a means to personal growth.  Often, where the dream takes place establishes context.  For me, currently disabled and […]

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Asking a Professional Makes Sense

Current setbacks have been self-imposed, it appears. I went to a physiotherapist this week to see if I could get some help for my legs. “Best way I can describe it,” I told him, “is that my legs feel like the plastic ones on those cheap patio chairs.  I can’t trust that they won’t give […]

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Many Layers of Illness

“Could my life history have contributed to this illness?” I asked my therapist one day.  We’ve been seeing each other now for the better of three years and it seems the trail of ‘stuff’ is never-ending. “I think it is fair to say that given your childhood, your marital history, and the years you did […]

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Who Am I, If Not Responsible?

This pedestal of responsibility has elevated me, out of reach, out of touch, lumps together children, mate, mother sister… Caregiver extraordinaire, present overcrowded by obligations, am unwell, off topic, fed up, surely… I am other abled, have room for more, non martyr related, hesitant to plan, my purpose for being so intricately tuned to the […]

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Cutting the Psychic Ties

There is a woman following me around, stabbing me in the chest every time I go near my husband, so I go off on my own.  The pain is too much to bear.   “Why are you alone?” someone asks me. “It’s just easier that way.” “Why don’t you stab her back?” “She only wounds […]

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Denial Is a Poor Example

“Your homework for this week is to write about the things your mother taught you,” my psychologist advised at the end of our session. Memories have been resurfacing and along with them rage.  I am incensed that I was never protected from some of the things that happened to me. “Well, she taught me that […]

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A Case for Noncompliance

I heard the ping of the text while I was in the doctor’s office – assumed it was a response from the message I had sent out earlier to my daughters – and chose to ignore it.  I did the same when my phone vibrated a few seconds later to let me know someone was […]

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