V.J.’s Weekly Challenge #43: Rain

April 8, 2019.Reading time 1 minute.

Raindrops, not tears,blur my vision –the line of trees before mea glistening blur.The pounding in my templesis just the steady rhythmof watery drip, drip, drip,not the incessant roarof my blood pounding –discordant is this day. I wrote this piece while stranded in Mississippi, with eighteen hours of driving still ahead of us, and no idea […]

Farewell to Farewells

April 7, 2019.Reading time 2 minutes.

Total exhaustion has taken hold. Brain is fried, emotions taut, body shot. Monday as we prepared to pull out, my right leg collapsed and as I reached out to stop the fall, I grasped with my left arm, wrenching an already torn shoulder. It did not bode well for the trip home. With a dead […]

Hello April

April 4, 2019.Reading time 1 minute.

April means farewell, for we winter Texans. Not fated to be a quick journey, as problems keep arising, grounding travel, and interfering with our plans. Nevertheless, April means Spring and everywhere we look the birds are twittering with extra fervency – is that romance in the air? And even though we’ve encountered setbacks – breakdowns […]

V.J.’s Weekly Challenge #42: farewell

April 1, 2019.Reading time 1 minute.

As you read this, Ric and I will be saying farewell to Texas and our cozy home on the canal. We leave behind new friends, the countless birds who have so entertained us, and the beautiful Gulf Coast. I am both excited to be home, and sad to end our time here. But isn’t that […]

To All Aspiring Dads

March 24, 2019.Reading time 3 minutes.

” I’m worried about my generation, Mom. There are so few male role models to set an example, how are we supposed to know how to live our lives?” My son was fifteen when he shared this concern with me. Having watched his own father turn his back during our divorce, and witnessing the same […]

The Father I Miss

March 23, 2019.Reading time 3 minutes.

Father abhorred laziness. “The idle mind is the Devil’s playground!” he’d say. Or: “What are you trying to do; win the horizontal championship?” Well, I’m the horizontal champion now, thanks to illness. Wonder what he’d say about that? Still, I’m not lazy. To my face he was hardcore, unless he was soppy drunk, then the […]

V.J.’s Weekly Challenge #40: Things My Father Said*

March 18, 2019.Reading time 2 minutes.

(* or any male of influence growing up.) I can’t count the number of times my father’s words hover over me, even though he’s been gone since 2005. He was the king of platitudes – constantly quoting (and making us recite) the works of Dale Carnegie, or Norman Vincent Peale. “Mind over matter,” he’d say […]

So Many Questions

March 17, 2019.Reading time 3 minutes.

Questions are piling up over here, with very few answers. Isn’t that life? And maybe that is the point: we are meant to reflect, to ponder, to search, to explore. As a teacher, the emphasis was on inquisition: teaching children to think beyond the obvious, find the tools to research deeper. In this ever-increasing digital […]

If I Knew; I’d Change It

March 15, 2019.Reading time 2 minutes.

I’m struggling with myself. It isn’t the first time, and I’m certain it won’t be the last. There is no definable reason, and yet my emotional self tries to find blame: it’s Ric’s behaviour; it’s because I’m homesick; it’s my illness. Rationally, I recognize that my life is full of blessings right now, and this […]

V.J.’s Weekly Challenge #39: Unanswerable

March 11, 2019.Reading time 2 minutes.

“I always start with questions that I can’t answer. Otherwise you get bored halfway through if you already know the answers. If you’re asking what seem to be unanswerable questions, then you have to keep showing up.” – Barbara KingsolverFrom A Talk in the Woods, by Kevin LarimerFeatured in Poets & Writers, November/ December 2018 […]

Wings

(Written during my bedbound years with ME/CFS)

Myalgic Encephalomyelitis

May is Myalgic Encephalomyelitis awareness month. Also known as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, this disease is characterized by exhaustion after exertion. The exertion can be physical -taking a shower; emotional – worrying or obsessing; or mental- filling out forms. The best source of information about ME/cfs, as we call it, is the Bateman Horne Center. They […]

Sorry

Sorry –so much inadequacybundled into one wordas if five letterscan conveydepths of regret,shock, dismay seems I am the sparkto your lighter fluid –unintentional, I swear still reelingfrom the aftermathof the explosion attempting todeconstruct theformula –precautionary I am sorry –that you are enraged,that you are so obviously disappointedthat you are consumed with resentment –except, it is […]