Pages Not Turning Yet

The last pages of my life’s narrative seem to have stuck together, locking me into this current lull. Is it the heat? The body’s response to stress, albeit positive? My mind’s ambition butting up against physical limitation? Likely a bit of each. We’ve already written the opening paragraph for the next chapter: purchased a new […]

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What’s In A Name

What’s her name?Simple questionfrom mother to son –recognizing the love-liftedjoy of his countenance. I cannot tell, said he,you’ll ask too many questions.Do I know her?No, Mom, she’s Somali.And Muslim. I felt my whitenessand all its privilegeslap me, stumbled Of course she is welcome,of course it does not matter. Had no sense of the depthof my […]

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To the Man-Boy Who Publicly Declares He Is Not Afraid of Death

And what will you feelwhen death,as you proclaim,passes you by Targetsa beloved aunt,an elderly neighbour,a nephew with asthma Will you pauseto ponder your partexpress regretfor misplaced pride Or preoccupiedwith your own rightssporting chest protruding blinderswill you deny accountability? “The president doesn’t wear a mask”you pronounce the words as gospeltoo young to recognize that choiceshave consequences, […]

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Stop the Spinning

Call it circling, call it dancing, it’s all the same – I end up at the same point. Caught between the idealism of expectation and the harshness of reality. One has lofty goals, the other invites limitations. I once believed, not in circles, but in spirals – a continual movement marking progress. Now, with time […]

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A Mother’s Education

By the time she was three, my first daughter, an early talker, had shared that people have colours around them, that I would eventually have three children, and not to worry about those who died, for they come back like she did. “She’s freaking me out,” I told a cousin of mine. “I don’t know […]

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This Is More Than Personal

A movie might be just the panacea we need to escape this current state of malaise. Our middle daughter and son-in-law dropped by with kids and we had a porch to curb-side visit – hard not to hug, but so good to hear those little voices in person. Now that they have left, I feel […]

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Practice Makes Permanent

“This is a lot of stuff to remember, Grandma!” Seven-year-old Sloane and I are making a Zentangle. She’d tried to copy my work on her own with no success, so I’m teaching her step by step. “That’s why we keep practicing.” “Practice makes permanent!” “Do you mean perfect?” “No permanent. That’s what my teacher says.” […]

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Subtract Expectations, Open to Possibility

The snow has been falling all day, filling in the roads behind the plow’s efforts. I am a bit of wreck as I write this. Tomorrow, I am planning a surprise party for Ric’s 70th birthday. The hall is booked, and I’ve delegated all the pieces, but the guest list is shrinking as people are […]

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Ripening With Anticipation

I’ve spent the day preparing enchilada sauce, having harvested a few tomatoes. A neighbour gifted me a handful of jalapeños, which are also going into the pot. Later, the kids are coming for dinner, so I hope my feast turns out. So much of life weaves in ways we never expect, and I am unwilling […]

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I Believe…Sort of…

“No matter what your religious affiliation, your relationship with God the Father, is directly representative of your relationship to small ‘f’ father.” Although I am paraphrasing here, the words from Joan Borysenko rang true. The workshop was entitled “The Heart of the Healer”. Borysenko was challenging us to examine our beliefs. My father was intolerant, […]

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