I am five. Chronologically, I am five. Inside, I feel as old as I’ll ever be.
I am free of the burdens and distractions that surround me, and often, alone.
I have a sense of something I can’t quite articulate – purpose, mingled with wisdom; trust, and a connection larger than me.
I do not question whether I am wearing the right clothes for my figure, or if my hair suits my face. I do not worry about where the money for the next bill is going to come from. I seldom wonder if what I say might offend or is relevant at all.
At five, I live honestly; authentically. I am all that I’ll ever be: undefined, yet confident. I am alive for a reason. I feel it.
All I have to do is be patient and wait for life to unfold.
My true self.
Senior now, I still remember her: that girl with such a full future ahead of her. Such an innocent.
Like a treasure, she is buried within me, holding space. I look for her in the mirror, but her light no longer shines in my eyes. I search for her in the clutter that has become my mind, yet her clarity eludes me. In the eyes of others, I am mother, friend, teacher, lover, and adviser, but not innocence; never my true self.
So, I seek to ignite that sense of self, through the inspiration that is my granddaughter. Her smiles, her tears, her constant curiosity and unabashed response to life is a reminder: somewhere in all of us there is a simplicity of being that defies any other reality.
(This post originally appeared in May of 2012, titled Innocence and Authenticity. )
Children are great teachers, as I discovered when my first was born. This week, let’s tune into the wisdom of children, or look inside to reconnect with our inner child and innate wisdom. Look forward to your posts!