Decoding our childhood involves taking a second look at those things we considered norms: like my mom’s insistence that we didn’t need umbrellas. I carried that philosophy into adulthood, along with the habit of depriving myself of many common items.
It took my husband’s insistence that I didn’t need to go without that helped me bust that myth.
What myths have you carried forward?
The myth I carried upon my shoulders for the longest time was that I was not worthy. It took perimenopause before I really understood what I had given up for all those years.
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Oh, I can relate,Susi.
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((hugs))
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Love the question…and my answer’s the same as Wynne’s! Yep – having “special” stuff that never gets used…household items, fancy dishes, clothes (usually uncomfortable anyhow). 😉
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Vicki, your comment about the uncomfortable clothes made me laugh. Our mother sewed our clothes, and those Easter dresses with the lace collars were the worst, lol.
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So glad I gave you a giggle! Xo, VJ! 🥰
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You sure did 😁
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Always keep a smile on your face, but after a while it seems insincere, especially if you are hurting inside. Sometimes, I think parents didn’t know any better or just wanted to show they had the upper hand.
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I think you are right, Eugi. It’s what they believed their role to be
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😊
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There must be some baggage hidden in there, but I was so determined to not be like my parents (or more that I just wanted to go my own way) that I struggle to come with any examples!
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I think that is the natural pendulum of evolution, Eilene. I remember not wanting to be like mine either, although in some areas I have failed, lol.
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Never burden anyone with your troubles. I’ll never get rid of that one. I did get over the no-corduroy after Memorial Day. (K)
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No corduroy after Memorial day! Heard about white, but not that. We heard the burden one too, and I still struggle with that.
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Don’t go outside with wet hair in the winter; you’ll catch cold. Don’t sit around in a wet bathing suit; you’ll get diarrhea.
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I hadn’t heard about the wet suit, but definitely the wet hair. I was on the swim team, which meant being out in the winter months at 7 am with wet hair every practice day. Lol. My mom was sure I’d die.
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😊
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Oh boy – this is a deep well! One that I’ve been trying to rewrite is that you have to save the best stuff (clothes, dishes, food) for a special occasion.
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Oh yes. The irony is that no one wanted the ‘good’ stuff after Mom was gone.
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Interesting! I don’t remember being told what I should or shouldn’t do as a child. Common sense was always encouraged.
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You were lucky, Sadje.
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Thank you dear friend, I do realize this.
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Put a brave face on no matter…you have to be on your last legs to take a sick day…
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Oh yes. I did it to my own kids – go to school and see how you make out.
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I listened to a keynote speaker, Anthony McLean, yesterday on the topic of mental health and the he talked about the different generations, the pendulum swung from resilience to self-compassion. We’d be of the resilience generation, and because of it we don’t have the same self-compassion. Whereas the self-compassion generation doesn’t know how to deal with the adversity. It’s finding that balance between the two.
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Exactly. I saw the damage caused by both, as you must have too, as educators.
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