I’ve started a second TikTok account just for the exploration of dreams. (@DreamCrone). It had 600 followers and lively discussion up until 2 weeks ago. Then I decided to lead my followers through an exercise examining the power of symbolism. I used my dream as an example.

The exercise requires telling the dream aloud, using the present tense. All the while, drawing blindly on a piece of paper. At the end of the telling, one can examine the image that has arisen and play with it until new meaning arises.

My dream was about a snake. The image the arose is featured, basically, a snake restrained. A woman asked me what I am restraining?

It struck a chord.

I hold back accumulated trauma, I responded. And hold onto so much responsibility, and shame…and then…

My father’s story.

It was an ‘aha’ moment. I’ve told my father’s story here in bits and pieces, but I have a whole memoir that sits unfinished. I decided to tell his and my story on TikTok in a series of posts. The views skyrocketed and so many people sent me messages of support. It was unexpected and so revealing.

The weight of our untold stories is so heavy and often based in irrational fear. I know many of you have taken the leap and published your stories, and I have not understood the emotional process that accompanies the act, not to mention the psychological twists that follow.

The rejection and abandonment I anticipated has not happened. Instead, the things I had hoped for in writing the memoir are coming to fruition: people say they no longer feel alone and have shared their own stories, others say I have them questioning former beliefs, and others are entering a dialogue they might not have otherwise had.

An interesting time, for sure.