Growing with gratitude for life's challenges
“Pay attention to your inner child,” my therapist advised me when I first got sick. It seems that fear causes emotional regression and any needs suppressed over the years come barreling forward in irrational outbursts. Hard to deny that one from where I’m sitting. I’ve been dreaming about children lately – children in my care – […]
Read MoreI am not always in possession of my own faculties and the resulting anger lashes out, mostly at my husband, whom I hope recognizes it is seldom personal. I hate myself in these moments – not all of me – just the malfunctioning parts. It happens when I overexert myself. Systemic Exertion Intolerance Disease is the new […]
Read More“Are you guys brother and sister?” the question came from our soon-to-be five-year-old granddaughter. Dropped off by her mother for an overnight stay, we had a day of cousins and uncles and aunts, and of course, Grandma and Grandpa. I brushed off her comment with a: “No, we’re married”, but the innocent observation shook me. […]
Read MoreIf you’ve ever wondered what living with a disability feels like, imagine this: Judgment is your constant companion. Family, friends, and even total strangers will suddenly feel entitled to express opinions about your condition, lack of trying, mental attitude, the latest trends in healing, and so on. You may be berated for using a handicap […]
Read MoreI have this recurring dream that I am teaching a class, composed of adults and adolescents, which is spread out over three rooms. Try as I might to build community through ice breaking activities, it is physically impossible to reach all the students at one time. I am reminded of how it feels to teach […]
Read MoreA week after my husband completed thirty-five rounds of radiation for Stage III Prostate cancer, and a year to the date that I learned surgery to remove cancerous tissues from my breast was successful, Ric fell down a flight of steps rupturing his quad tendon. Ten weeks after surgery, he would fall again, causing further […]
Read MoreLiving with ME/CFS is often a matter of trial and error – the line between what the body is capable of and overexertion is never quite definable, except in the aftermath. Yesterday, I accompanied my daughter to Costco, which was teeming with cars and people. We found a parking spot close to the entrance, and […]
Read MoreDear Friend, I saw you in my dream; you were across the street and I caught myself hesitating – should I wave, acknowledge you, or keep on going? Then you headed towards me, crossing what is now more a river than a street, there is so much water that has passed between us. You gave […]
Read MoreBefore illness (ME/CFS), I had my life lined up, like a shopkeeper perfectly aligning her shelves, ready to get down to business. One more course and I would be at the top pay scale, qualified to fill many shoes in the education field. I had landed my dreamed-for job in Special Education, and was starting […]
Read MoreHesitantly, I turn the key in the lock and push the door ajar. A waft of warm, stale air accosts me. “Hello?” I’d been told there might not be a response. Something is resting against the door, so I push harder to let myself in. The beam from the light of the open doorway is […]
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One Woman's Quest II 