Heart Warmed

“Hi Mrs Knutson,Hope you are well!I saw that you and your husbandare hosting a family of refugeesfrom Ukraine….“ The writer of this message attended a school where I once taught. He was not a student of mine, but I did coach the boys’ soccer team, with this young man’s help and direction (he was our […]

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How To Start a Cult*

Find an issue people are able to get passionate about, say, child trafficking. 2. Share information and increase the outrage. Start with facts, but insert the occasional manufactured story to test the waters. Maybe try Pizza Gate. 3. Increase paranoia by suggesting that so much is hidden from the public. Again, use actual cases, for […]

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The Bottom of The Ravine

I spotted him as soon as I exited the back door of the school.  He stood on the field, just off the paved area where students were now scattering after the final bell.  He wore a bulky, beige parka, fists shoved into jean pockets, a few locks of dirty blonde hair falling over cold grey eyes; […]

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Cars and Faith

Assuming my faculties have regained some semblance of functioning, I will drive again.  I don’t anticipate the first run will be without incidence – traffic is known to snarl, and accidents are a regular occurrence – but I have faith in my ability to respond appropriately. I’m reminded of my first car and that one […]

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Disability’s Rage

I am not always in possession of my own faculties and the resulting anger lashes out, mostly at my husband, whom I hope recognizes it is seldom personal. I hate myself in these moments – not all of me – just the malfunctioning parts. It happens when I overexert myself.  Systemic Exertion Intolerance Disease is the new […]

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See It From Disability’s Side

If you’ve ever wondered what living with a disability feels like, imagine this:  Judgment is your constant companion.  Family, friends, and even total strangers will suddenly feel entitled to express opinions about your condition, lack of trying, mental attitude, the latest trends in healing, and so on.  You may be berated for using a handicap […]

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First Encounter with ME/CFS

Hesitantly, I turn the key in the lock and push the door ajar.  A waft of warm, stale air accosts me. “Hello?”  I’d been told there might not be a response. Something is resting against the door, so I push harder to let myself in.  The beam from the light of the open doorway is […]

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No Sailing At The Moment

I am learning to live in the moment, a lesson imposed by chronic illness.  No use regretting yesterday’s actions or inactions, and no point fretting about or planning the future.  What I know, is that there are moments of time, fleeting intervals that pass, some with profound relevance, some seemingly meaningless, and many in between. […]

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Fake It Till I Make It, Not!

I wasn’t raised to be on disability.  In fact, my military trained father would never allow us to sleep in – up by 5 a.m. on holidays or we’d miss the day – and constantly drilled into us that “idleness was the devil’s playground.” There was no lying around, watching soap operas or movies during […]

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Things Are Looking Up

Had my third Ozonotherapy last week, and apart from feeling flushed and slightly dizzy afterwards (I then realized I was likely dehydrated) I have felt increasingly stronger. “Or is it that you have a new granddaughter?” my husband likes to play Devil’s Advocate. Having a new grandchild is definitely an energy boost – the motivation […]

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