“Shouldn’t be long,” I tell Ric before passing through into the rows of examining rooms. The receptionist who called yesterday, saying there was a cancellation, suggested this was just a consult and preliminary examination.
My health has been declining since long before we returned home. The thing about having a chronic illness is that it can relapse. I decided to wait for our return to see the doctor.
“I’m a bit of a mess,” I tell the family physician, listing my many complaints. She orders a number of tests and sets up an appointment with a specialist.
The next day she calls with two prescriptions. – antibiotics for a bacteria infection, and cream for a skin complaint.
I take the antibiotics, but don’t feel better. In fact, at the end of the dosage I am worse – running a temperature, and generally unwell. Further testing shows the bacteria is persisting. I am prescribed another round of drugs, this time stronger.
“What have your symptoms been?” the specialist asks me. I tell him what I can remember, totally forgetting the things I’m being treated for.
He leaves the room so that I can change and when he returns explains what he’s about to do. A nurse stands by to assist.
“I’m going to touch you,” he tells me as he lifts my gown, and then he stops.
“Has anyone talked to you about you your skin problem?”
“Yes; I have a cream for it.”
“What cream?” He seems agitated, but carries on with the examination, and then suddenly, he pulls away.
“You know what,” he says, taking off his gloves. “I can’t go any further until we deal with the skin.”
And then he says it…the ‘c’ word.
“Understand,” he says looking me in the eyes. “I’m not saying it is, but what I see is consistent with cancer. I have to eliminate the possibility before we can proceed.”
So they move me to another room, and prepare for a biopsy.
I don’t ask any more questions, feeling a rush of relief that someone is doing something for me (not typical with ME/cfs) and the numbness that follows the utterance of that word.
“Unfortunately,” the doctor says before dismissing me; “the labs are slow, and it will likely be three weeks before I have an answer.”
So now I wait. I’m in-between.
This week, I need your inspiration – where do you go in the in-between? How do you survive it? Or maybe the in-between is ripe with gifts?
(By the way, I’ve been here before, so not too worried – I know how it works – but it’s where my focus will be this week, lol.)
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