Only If I Knew…

“I wish I was a boy, Grandma.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Boys don’t get their monthly thing and they don’t have to birth babies.”

I remember thinking the same thing. I also remember how unfair the world seemed, growing up in the era of Women’s Lib, recognizing the broad stroke of inequality.

I didn’t have any pat answer in the moment. After she left, I wished I’d said the things no one ever said to me:

Life is about choices. You don’t have to do anything.

All experience is valid.

We cannot know why we are born a certain way, but if we are patient and trusting, we will come to find purpose.

Everyone struggles; it is the nature of life. What we do with the struggle is what makes a difference.

Not all pain is physical. Enduring pain gives us strength.

The joy you will experience will far outweigh the pain.

It is easy to fear what we don’t understand; in time, your perspective will change.

Give life a chance.

(For Reena’s Exploration Challenge: If Only I Knew…)

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Permission to write, paint, and imagine are the gifts I gave myself when chronic illness hit - a fair exchange: being for doing. Relevance is an attitude. Humour essential.

10 thoughts on “Only If I Knew…

  1. I love your openness in sharing this, a real life issue and a moments ahead fro connection. I like your thinking as you’ve expressed it – grounded and heartfelt, and I agree with wisewoman. (as an aside, lol, there is a court case in the UK in process where the first man to give birth ectopic/caesarian, who is having to fight to be registered legally as the father!!!)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Good reflections … perhaps you will read this to her! I remember thinking girls were disadvantaged, that I didn’t like the messiness and restrictions (BOYS could go w/o their shirts on hot summer days!). Looking back from an aged perspective, I’m pretty sure nothing said to me in my early teens would’ve registered as anything more than criticism of my criticisms. That said, I wish the whole matter had been less hush-hush … that I’d had the umph to instigate discussion like my own daughter did years later. Sounds like your granddaughter is open to discussion – a good thing!

    Liked by 1 person

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