I know a little girl,whose hair in ringletsfalls, unkempt from lackof brushing; who standswhen she should be sitting;who laughs with defiance whenchallenged, her dark eyes gleamingwith mischief; who holds her chin uphigh and stamps her feet, arms foldedin protest when she does not get her way. I see that little girl,have watched her play,with a […]
Ask me how I’m doingand I’ll say “fine”, notbecause I’m actually fine,but because “fine” is the onlysocially acceptable response. If I said that I have been lyinghere, for three hours now,willing my body to move,that would elicit unsolicitedadvice and tarnish my “fine”. I’d berate myself for breakingmy promise not to moan,knowing that complainingprovokes a compulsive […]
(Image my own)
One Woman's Quest II 
Well said, VJ! 💖
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Thanks Eugi!
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Most welcome, VJ.
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The mental aspect is the one I imagine to be the most challenging. (K)
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Yes, it is. Takes a long time to fight those voices in your head.
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Thank you for writing this, VJ, for those of us who haven’t had to contend with a chronic illness.
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😊💕
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VJ, you’ve done a beautiful job of explaining how chronic illness feels so that I think I understand it without having gone through it myself. It reminds me of something I heard cognitive scientist Maya Shankar say about change, ““We don’t like change because it almost definitionally involves a loss of identity and that’s very destabilizing. I think as humans we often attach ourselves to specific identities as we move through the world because it gives us a sense of security. Psychologists refer to this phenomenon as identity foreclosure. We are foreclosing on an identity, we commit to an identity and fail to maintain an exploratory mindset.”
If I remember from the podcast where I heard that, once we give up that identity, that exploratory mindset does kick in and help as the end of your statement suggests. I hope that is true for your experience that a renewed sense of purpose is found.
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I haven’t heard this explanation but it sure makes sense. I am 8 years in, so the renewed sense of purpose is well-established, but every so often I am reminded of the enormous losses that come with this disease.
I believe in acknowledging what I am feeling so I can move on.
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That seems so healthy and wise to acknowledge your feelings so you can move on, VJ!
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Amen! 🙂 ❤
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😘
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VJ – well spoken. Do you have any advice for those of us whose dear friends have to live with this daily physical challenge? How can I be helpful?
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The best gift you can give someone with chronic illness, is a moment of being ‘normal’. If they can’t go out for a tea, drop by with a favourite beverage. Offer to sit and watch a movie, preferably funny. I have a friend that just sends me thoughts of the day, and it makes me smile that she thinks of me. I think everyone has different needs, but it’s always nice to have a mini-vacation with a cherished friend
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Thanks, VJ. That is helpful advice.
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Welcome
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Diificult to cope with it somedays!
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Yes it is. Especially when we have setbacks. Sigh
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❤ Hang in there.
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Thank you!
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Indeed it is a complex challenge
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Thanks Sadje. Too many of us know this.
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Yes we do. And we also know how to stand up to it
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